AITA for refusing to let my sister’s toxic friend stay with me after she lied to my parents and made me the bad guy?
In the delicate web of family and friendship, trust can be the most fragile thread.
A young woman finds herself torn between loyalty to her sister and the unsettling presence of Sarah, a manipulative friend whose disruptive behavior threatens to unravel the peace carefully woven within their family home.
As tensions rise and boundaries clash, the once close-knit relationship begins to strain under the weight of deceit and emotional turmoil.
The struggle to protect one’s sanctuary becomes a poignant battle, revealing the deep emotional wounds that manipulation and mistrust can inflict on those caught in the crossfire.
So, a bit of backstory: I (26F) have a younger sister (22F), and while we’re pretty close, she has this one friend, Sarah (23F), who I’ve never really gotten along with.
Sarah has always been super manipulative and has a tendency to lie to get attention, but my sister has always brushed it off.
Recently, Sarah’s behavior reached a new level, and it’s causing major tension in our family.
Sarah had been staying at our parents’ house for a while because she was having "issues" at home (long story short, her parents are divorced and there’s some drama there).
My parents were kind enough to let her stay, but recently Sarah got into a huge argument with them about something trivial, and she decided to storm out, claiming they were “unfair.” So, Sarah asked my sister if she could stay at my place for a while.
I’m super big on boundaries, especially when it comes to my living space, so I said no at first.
I didn’t want to get caught in the middle of her drama, and I knew it would cause tension between me and my sister.
But my sister begged, saying that Sarah had nowhere else to go and that she’d only be there for a few days. Reluctantly, I agreed to let her crash on my couch for a week.
Things immediately started going downhill. Sarah was super messy, would make passive-aggressive comments about how “unwelcoming” my place felt, and didn’t respect any of my rules.
One night, after I asked her to clean up after herself, she went behind my back and told my parents that I was being “cold and rude” to her and “refused to let her stay” (which was a total lie, I had already agreed for her to stay!).
I didn’t find out until my parents called me to ask what was going on. They were furious and told me I needed to apologize and make up with Sarah. I was livid.
I told my parents the truth—that I had let Sarah stay with me, but she had completely disrespected my space and made things uncomfortable.
Still, they sided with Sarah, saying I should just “tolerate her” for the sake of family peace. At this point, I had had enough.
I told my sister that Sarah could no longer stay with me because I was not going to be manipulated by her or anyone else.
My sister tried to guilt-trip me, saying I was being a bad sister and I should just “deal with it.” After a huge argument, I kicked Sarah out of my place.
Now, my parents and sister are angry at me, and Sarah is spreading rumors that I’m a terrible person. I feel like I did the right thing, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too harsh.
AITA for refusing to let my sister’s toxic friend stay with me, even though my family is mad?
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AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
Support, sarcasm, and strong words — the replies covered it all. This one definitely got people talking.
Buttered_Crumpet09 - :- NTA. Her own parents won't have her at their home, she stormed out of your parents' home (have you called them out on their behaviour?
After all, according to their logic, they should have made it right for family peace and grovelled until she came back, right?), and you don't want the adult brat in your home.
Are your sister and parents not picking up on the common denominator, or are they just trying to offload her onto you so that they don't have to deal with her?
Also, where did the brain trust that is your sister and parents think Sarah was staying if she was saying that you refused to let her stay?
Or are they so dumb they think that she was in your home but you were just....not letting her stay there? Don't let her back in.
She's your sister's friend so she can deal with it, and if your parents are so concerned, they can take her back in. Not your pig, not your farm.
Superbubbler - :- If her parents can’t put up with her, your parents can’t put up with her, why should you. They want you to deal with it so they don’t have to.
LornaNoContext - :- kicking her out wasn’t harsh, it was overdue, your home isn’t a rehab center for toxic liars who can’t follow basic respect.
JustAsICanBeSoCruel - :- What in the fuck did I just read? First of all, NTA. ***Firmly***.
Secondly - let me get this straight: * -Full grown woman runs away from home because divorced parents are causing drama * -Your parents let her live there.
she acts like a bratty teenager and....she runs away again * -You let her crash on your couch, she acts like a gross, bratty teenager and goes crying to your parents * -Your parents think you should let her stay with you because....you need to keep the peace?
* What in the actual fuck is wrong with your parents? Your family is deranged if they think you should let their pet project stay with you. Let them have her if they care so much about her.
I would absolutely go low to no contact over this for a while. Let her say whatever she wants. All people have to do is spend a day with her before they realize who the real problem is, and it's not *you*.
Enjoy your peace. Don't let your family guilt you into taking on a problem they themselves aren't willing to put up with.
SomeonesPC - :- guys... op is a frequent commenter in r/writingwithai use your brains lmao. and op, use a throwaway for your slop if you want it to be even a *tiny* bit subtle
Anxious-Routine-5526 - :- NTA. Sarah and her issues aren't your problem and never should've been. *Your* peace in *your* home takes precedent. Let the rest of your family deal with her drama and BS if they so choose.
Valor816 - :- This is pretty poorly written even for an AI
The individual in this situation upheld firm personal boundaries regarding their living space against a guest known for manipulative behavior.
This act of self-protection directly conflicted with the desires and expectations of their immediate family, who prioritized maintaining familial peace and accommodating the guest over respecting the host's rules and comfort.
When personal limits are met with family pressure to tolerate known toxic behavior, is the defense of one's home and mental well-being more important than adhering to family demands for superficial harmony, especially when those demands involve enabling manipulation?