AITA for snapping at my tutor because I was late to work?
In the quiet struggle of a fifteen-year-old boy juggling the heavy weight of academic pressure and financial responsibility, every day feels like a battle against time and circumstance.
With a scholarship hanging in the balance, and a sister relying on his strength, he fights not just for grades, but for hope and survival in a world that demands more than he sometimes feels capable of giving. Amidst the chaos, an unlikely alliance forms with Allen, a peer he never expected to lean on.
Despite initial reluctance and differences, their shared challenges forge a bond that transcends mere tutoring—offering not just academic improvement, but a glimmer of friendship and understanding that neither saw coming.
I, (15M), attend a private school on scholarship and have really struggled with a lot of things throughout my time there - socially and academically - as it's been difficult to balance keeping my GPA above the threshold and working to help my sister pay rent.
I've always struggled with math, and ever since I've started working more hours, my grade's been getting worse and I'm scared to lose my scholarship.
I talked to my math teacher and learning specialist about this, and since I can't afford a tutor, they've decided it was a good idea to pair me up with another student in my class (15M).
For simplicity, we'll call him Allen (fake name).
Now, a couple of things you should know about me: Firstly, I'd say I'm quite good at English/related subjects (when I'm not rambling on Reddit), and second, I'm not exactly fond of Allen.
Despite that, it's been quite a beneficial partnership for us both (we tutor each other in different subjects). My grades have been improving, and we've even started to develop a sort of friendship.
However, here's the situation: Allen was tutoring me after school (not the ideal time, but I needed help for a test I had the day after), and we lost track of time.
When I saw the time, I realized I was about to be late for work and stood up to leave. I was packing up quickly, so Allen asked why I was in such a rush, and I kind of froze.
One thing about this school is that there aren't many scholarship kids like myself, and the students are pretty ruthless towards them (I've seen a lot of students get bullied because of it) - so I've tried to keep it hidden from anyone.
Here's where I might be the asshole, though: I refused to give him an explanation and tried to run out, but he caught me by the wrist and asked again.
At this point, I was pretty mad and told him to mind his own business.
He still wouldn't let me go and said that he was 'just worried about me,' but I was really running late, so I snapped at him that it was none of his business to stop being worried because I was doing great and to leave me alone.
I know he was just worried, but I really needed to go and forgot about it until the next day.
The next day, I came to school, and one of our mutual friends, I'll call her Shelly (14F), came up to me and asked what the hell was wrong with me and called me an asshole for yelling at Allen when he just wanted to help.
In my eyes, I was just trying to get where I was going, and he was being pushy (we're not very close friends), but now I'm not too sure. AITA?
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THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.:
When users weighed in, they held nothing back. It’s a raw, honest look at what people really think.
uTop-Artichoke5020 - :- NTA As soon as Allen grabbed you by the wrist this left the realm of "concern". He had no right to demand an explanation from you.
Life would have been made a lot easier if you just said you had an appointment and you didn't want to be late.
yerexipateceda0cc8 - :- Listen, you need to take responsibility for snapping. Allen was just trying to help when he saw you in a panic. Don't underestimate the power of communication; a simple excuse could've diffused the situation.
Apologize sincerely and explain your stress without oversharing. Next time, manage your time better so this doesn’t happen.
Grabbed wrist or not, both of you shouldn't have escalated things like that—you’re teenagers navigating challenges together. Learn from it and move on—don't let one moment ruin what could be a valuable friendship.
vivid_chloe_love - :- yta for snapping, but it's understandable. juggling school, work, and a secret isn't easy. maybe apologize and explain your situation to allen if you feel comfortable. he seems to care.
iwantaponytoo - :- YTA. From your description he was concerned for you, rather than just being nosy. You could have just said "I'm late to meet someone". You don't have to tell people your business, but you don't have to be rude, either.
mercurylampshade - :- YTA. I understand you were going to be late and your reputation was at stake but this isn’t your tutor, this is your peer.
You say you aren’t close but it sounds like you were mutually helping each other and as you said, starting to develop a friendship. From his pov you suddenly rushing and leaving with no explanation may be hurtful.
Does he know afterschool might not be ideal for you? If you just said something like there’s someplace I have to be, I might be late. Thank you for studying with me.. that might have helped mitigate the situation you are in now.
It’s up to you if you trust him enough about your scholarship and so forth but make sure he knows you appreciate him and find that studying together is still good for you both.
It sounds like he was good for you socially and academically. I know school stress and social anxiety sucks but maybe apologize for the misunderstanding and acknowledge he really was worried about you.
If he isn’t nosy something like you lost track of time and had to be somewhere for a family member is as close to the truth as you can if you’re comfortable.
Him physically preventing you from leaving was also an issue though… so make sure he knows, and communicate it calmly as you’re not under that time pressure anymore.
SplendidDhalia - :- YTA. actually that was rude, you could've just said you're late for something and in a rush rather than snapping like that, of course he is worried.
maybe apologize to him and tell him you had an important thing to do that day and you were getting late
Younggod9 - :- YTA, You were wrong to snap at him. Your tutor was just trying to help and care about you, even if it wasn’t at the best time. It’s okay to be in a rush, but being rude to him wasn’t necessary. You should apologize to him.
The student faced immense pressure balancing academic requirements, a demanding work schedule to support his family, and the need to hide his financial situation from peers.
His outburst stemmed from the fear of exposure and the immediate stress of running late for work, causing him to react defensively when Allen physically stopped him.
Given the high stakes of his scholarship and the hostile social environment regarding his financial status, was the student justified in his sharp refusal to explain his urgency, or did his panicked need for privacy justify yelling at someone who claimed to be acting out of concern?