AITA: I asked my ex-husbands mother to stay away from my children
Years of love, sacrifice, and blended family dreams shattered beneath the weight of relentless cruelty.
She had fought for her children, for the daughters she had embraced as her own, enduring the silent venom of hatred from those who should have supported her.
The ex-wife’s spite and the mother-in-law’s resentment had never been easy, but she held on, believing love could overcome bitterness.
Now, as poisonous words poison the hearts of her children, the torment spills into their fragile souls, breaking the fragile bonds she worked so hard to build.
A desperate cry from a stepdaughter reveals the unbearable truth: the very people who should protect her family have become the architects of their pain, threatening to destroy everything she once believed in.
A little back story: my ex husband and I were together for 8 years. My two sons were ultimately adopted by him. He has two daughters that I fell in love with and we were a good family.
His ex wife hated me, which I understood due to her daughter's wanting me over her, though I engaged them to be with her, even when she wasnt around for various reasons.
My ex-husbands mother hates me because when we first got together, I made him be his own person and not rely on her.
He would literally go over there and have her do his laundry and watch his kids while he did nothing. Again, I understood why she hate me and continued on with our relationship.
Well, we split up, and now his mother and ex wife are best friends and when she is around my children, she continues to bash me in front of them.
I got a call from my step daughter a couple weeks ago crying that she cant handle what "meme" was saying. This was the last straw for me.
Apparently she told my 13 year old son who has a rare tumor disorder and experiences pain, that im lying to him and everyone about his diagnosis and treatment, and that I shouldn't be allowed to have contact with my own children.
I attempted to talk with her to understand the situation and put boundaries down. She replied by saying I lie about everything and she doesnt care what I have to say.
I told her I wouldn't allow my children to be subjected to her type of abuse, and she said that because my ex husband is their dad and pays child support, she can essentially see and do whatever she wants.
Ive dealt with her for 10 years in total now and this is the first time ive put my foot down because she actually made two of my children cry due to what shes said.
I feel terrible because she is "family", but my children and I have been through a lot and I dont feel like they deserve to be subjected to that.
What should I do if he does allow her to see them if I've asked him not to?
Subscribe to Our Newsletter
No spam, unsubscribe anytime. Privacy Policy
HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.:
Users didn’t stay quiet — they showed up in full force, mixing support with sharp criticism. From calling out bad behavior to offering real talk, the comments lit up fast.
SalaudChaud - :- Obviously NTA. The rest of this is a legal matter and I hope you get some advice on your custody and guardianship options, and realistic outcomes, soon.
Noir-Affair - :- You’ve tolerated a lot already. The fact that your stepdaughter called you crying says everything. You’re not the only one seeing the damage here. NTA
ImpossibleReason2204 - :- Please get some legal advice. While your ex is their dad and has rights your kids have the right to not be around this kind of abuse.
Mirages-Muse - :- Nah you’re not the asshole at all. Protecting your kids from toxic people isn’t drama, it’s basic parenting. Blood doesn’t give her a free pass to be cruel. If your ex won’t back you up, it might be time for legal boundaries too.
BA5ED - :- Let me get this straight, the kids who are of no biological relation to the grandmother are being subjected to her verbal abuse of you? Why not just take your kids and go your way and let the ex and his kids go their own way?
LucyBarefoot - :- She is only right in the fact that she can see your kids if your ex allows it. Grandparents have pretty much NO rights at all as long as both or either of the parents is fit and involved.
I would take him back to court to have a clause added to your custody agreement that says that no one who is around the kids can speak badly of either parent.
Embarrassed-Row-2025 - :- Actually you can present evidence to the court and get a restraining order. Most divorces have a **Speak No Evil** clause where you may not disparage **OR ALLOW OTHERS TOO** in the presence of the children...
The original poster reached a breaking point after years of conflict with her ex-husband's mother, particularly when the grandmother undermined her authority regarding her son's serious medical condition in front of the children.
This situation forced her to choose between maintaining a strained, long-term family tie and protecting her children's emotional well-being and sense of security.
Given the history of hostility and the severe nature of the recent comments directed at the children, is the poster justified in demanding that her ex-husband exclude his mother from contact with their shared children until effective boundaries can be established, or does this action cross a necessary line into family disruption?