AITA for not letting my friend borrow my car after she stranded me the week before?
Betrayal cuts deepest when it comes from those closest to us. In a tight-knit circle where trust and support are the foundation, one friend’s selfish choice shattered the harmony, leaving others stranded and scrambling.
The night meant for bonding turned into a harsh lesson about loyalty and respect. Now, when the same friend asks to borrow a car, the wounds are still fresh.
The question isn’t just about a vehicle—it’s about whether forgiveness is possible when trust has been broken. Standing firm feels like the only way to protect oneself, even if it risks fracturing friendships forever.
I (18F+) have a small, close friend group, and we usually have each other's backs. We take turns driving places, splitting gas, that kind of thing.
I’ve let a few of them use my car before (with me in it or not), and it’s never been a big deal—until now. Last weekend, one friend offered to drive us all to a concert about 45 minutes away.
I left my car at her place, and we all piled into hers. The plan was to hang out afterward, then ride back together.
But near the end of the night, she met some guy and decided to ditch—literally just left with him without telling us.
I only found out when she texted, “Hey, I’m crashing at his place, you’ll have to find another ride.”
We were stuck.
One of our friends had to call her older brother to come pick us up, and I had to Uber back to her place the next morning to get my car. It was super inconvenient, and honestly? Kind of disrespectful.
Fast forward to this past weekend—she texted me asking to borrow my car because hers was “acting up” and she had a date. I said no.
She got super passive-aggressive about it, saying I was being petty and holding a grudge over “one mistake.”
Some people in our group are split.
A couple agree she shouldn’t have left us like that in the first place, but another said I was being spiteful and should have just helped her out.
So… AITA for not letting her borrow my car after she stranded me?
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HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.:
The internet jumped in fast, delivering everything from kind advice to cold truth. It’s a mix of empathy, outrage, and no-nonsense takes.
ToastetteEgg - :- NTA. And your friends opining on the use of your car is completely irrelevant. P.S. Don’t lend your car to anyone ever.
Dependent-Union4802 - :- You are young but here’s a piece of advice: Never loan your car to anyone. It will only lead to trouble for you. What if she gets into an accident? Will she pay? I think not.
hdgal63 - :- hahaha, I am petty, I will admit....
give her a spare key and let her borrow the car, but find out where she will be, then when she is parked and doing whatever, go get the car back and drive it away and send her a text, saying hey, you needed the car and she will need to find another ride.
Tovafree29209-2522 - :- How’s she still in your circle?
bfrabel - :- Don't be passive-aggressive. Instead be actual aggressive. Tell her straight up that yes it was because she stranded you guys, and that sometimes karma's a bitch.
ClarkHartstreet - :- She didn’t make a mistake. She made a choice.
Right_Cucumber5775 - :- Never ever lend your car to anyone. Anyone who asks get the same response - No.
The individual faced a clear breach of trust when a friend abandoned them, leaving them stranded after an agreed-upon shared activity. The subsequent refusal to lend the car was a direct reaction to this prior significant inconvenience and disrespect.
When friendship involves shared responsibilities like transportation, is it justifiable to deny a favor based on a recent, severe violation of that shared trust, or does ongoing friendship require overlooking past slights for immediate needs?