My husband thinks I’m a horrible mother because I don’t want to be a SAHM
She is a woman caught between the relentless demands of motherhood and the fierce desire for her own identity. After years of sacrifice as a stay-at-home mom, she found strength in pursuing a career, not for money, but for her mental survival.
Yet, the walls of her home have become battlegrounds where love and resentment clash, and the weight of unspoken expectations threatens to crush her spirit.
Her husband’s bitterness over her job reveals deeper fractures, where control and resentment masquerade as concern.
She faces the painful reality of being judged a “crappy mother” simply for seeking balance, while bearing the invisible scars of past financial dependencies.
In this struggle, she fights not only for her sanity but for the freedom to define motherhood on her own terms.
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The original poster (OP) faces a significant conflict where her desire for personal fulfillment through work clashes directly with her husband's expectation that she should be a stay-at-home mother responsible for all domestic duties.
Her decision to work is driven by mental health needs and a fear stemming from past financial dependency, while her husband's stance seems motivated by a desire to maintain the status quo where he is absolved of household responsibilities, leading him to attack her motherhood.
Is the OP justified in prioritizing her mental health and career aspirations over her husband's desire for a traditional home structure, especially given her past trauma regarding financial dependency, or is the husband’s expectation that she fulfill the role of a full-time homemaker reasonable within the context of their marriage?