'AITA for not letting my daughter be around her mother?' UPDATED

What a miserable excuse for a human being.

Wow she’s crazy. Also, if she wanted shared custody she would need to go through the courts. At least now you know why she tried to get back in your life. She wanted to use you for money. Honestly she should be paying you child support.

Wow.

Despite going against everyone's advice (mine included), I think you did things the right way by seeking your daughter's opinion and proceeding with caution.

Alas, motherhood has made Ellie regress. She has gotten *worse* at manipulation and plotting. Maybe she contracted the Terrible Twos from her children: "I wannit NOW!"

Money, they only reason she wants to be a mother. What a cunt.

What a human excrement.

You're going to need a licensed child therapist to help you explain this to Ellie. This is far to delicate to do alone.

Ugh I am so sorry for you and your daughter. Elle is really shitty for her ulterior motives and involving your poor daughter. I would be on alert though. I'm not sure she's done trying to get money from you. 

If she wants 'shared custody' does she realise that she would, according to the way she's thinking, have to pay you when you have your daughter and in that event, you cancel each other out?

The irony that she tampered with condoms to get pregnant when she knew you didn't want that, to try to force you into a relationship you didn't want and she's going to call you selfish? LMAO 

The whole reason you're even in this conversation is because shes SO selfish! Unreal! Keep your daughter away from her at all costs. You don't want her to turn out like her egg donor. 

Has she been paying you child support all of these years ?

I think you have a case for suing her for child support.

What a monumental AH. You need to keep that woman away from your daughter.  The emotional damage she is going to do to her will take years of therapy to undo.  When she is older and an adult and is mature enough to deal with the fact that she has a crappy egg donor for a mom, she will decide what relationship she wants have with her. 

 Right now, you need to protect your daughter from that emotional vampire and deadbeat. 

Next time she contacts you, tell her she owes YOU 7 years of back child support and you will be suing her for it of she doesn't back off and stop harassing you 

I'm sad for your daughter. She would like to have a mother, but her bio-mother is a bitch who only wanted to use her for money. Your daughter is better off without her.

You should consider having some female influence in your daughter's life. Perhaps a friend or relative could agree to do some of the "female" things with her. But definitely not this poor excuse of a mother.

File for child support since you have full custody

Make sure Ellie can only talk to you over text message in the future. Don't reply to any that aren't about your daughter. Screenshot everything.

It may be time to get a lawyer.

Honestly, you never should have let her meet your daughter. You should have met her one on one. Now you know for future discussions. Also, never ever discuss her seeing your daughter before talking to a lawyer first. You could screw your custody doing that.

NTA, but you need to be more honest with your daughter. Let her know you found out Ellie had some hidden motives for coming around now, and that causes you not to trust her around the most precious thing in your life.

If you don't, Ellie will find a way to sneak in and convince your daughter that YOU are the bad guy and kept sweet, innocent Ellie away from her beloved daughter.

Disgusting woman.

I’m sorry your ex is such a jackass. I’m very sorry for your daughter. This is one of the saddest post I’ve read yet! Praying for you & your daughter.