Bride refuses to lose weight for the wedding, 'this new body is unlike my past self.' AITA?

*Now I’m not even sure if I should marry him*

Good, because you shouldn't

Omg 5’8” and 128 pounds is very thin. Don’t marry him. He has a lot of nerve considering his own weight struggles. RUN!!!!!

>Now I’m not even sure if I should marry him bc I think maybe I’ll never be good enough.

Bingo. This will only get 10X worse after marriage. He will be badgering you for the rest of your life about your weight and appearance.

No, you do not want to be having this guy's kids, get out while it's still pretty easy.

NTA

Hon, you're size 4

Dear fuck, you have no weight to lose.

Except that extra 140-200 making comments

NTA

>He just wants me to be skinny and work out and eat grilled chicken and I just don’t want to.

So basically he wants you to do what he has continually tried and failed at.

I would want to know does this actually have anything to do with your appearance or is it more of a "misery loves company" kind of situation?

Lose the extra 140 .( Man child)

FFS you’re a size 4 - you already ARE skinny by any normal standards. Please think long and hard if this is a man you want to be legally bound to. The whole “I want you to be healthy” is such bs especially at your current height/weight. NTA

I was never good enough in my first marriage - RUN NOW!!!!!!!

NTA! You have “fluff” on your belly and hips because you’re a WOMAN! You’re supposed to have those parts, they’re key to survival. (Ask any Neanderthal). Size 4? Girl my thighs are bigger than you.

Do not marry a man who body shames you, please! If you are comfortable in your own skin go find a man who is comfortable in his and go be comfortable together.

You know what’s sadder than breaking an engagement? Going thru with a wedding and being married to someone who is not really looking out for you.

NTA but I'd rethink this relationship. You're not fat or overweight or whatever by any means yet he responds with something like that? Nope, thanks. I'd get a conversation about it if it was about your health but not about healthy levels of fat in a woman!

Edit:typo

You are seeing the red flags now. It isn’t too late. This does not get better.

If you were 228, the “I just want you to be healthy” might be a valid argument. It isn’t today.

few things first I don't think he was telling you he wish you were skinny. You showed him a dress you loved but hinted you weren't skinny enough for it. He basically said if you wanted the dress you can lose the weight and get the dress.

second. your fiancee needs a therapist because he has an eating disorder.

>He’ll do keto, go on new diets, skip meals, and have bouts of gym rat weeks where he goes everyday and just eats grilled chicken and rice every night with a protein shake. And then he’ll fall off the wagon, drink 4 cans of surfsides in one sitting (along with a takeout meal that could feel 3) and then the cycle repeats.

Major signs being skipping meals and the constant of being in the gym to lose weight. Then when he fails he begin to binge eat. The man has an eating disorder and has a terrible relationship with food

I say this with love -- you are skinny. At your weight, height, and clothing size, what you're seeing is most likely not "fluff" or "extra," but simply actually being a fully grown female human instead of a scrawny teenager/early 20s.

The myth that women finish growing at 16 and men "fill out" until mid-20s is just that, a myth. No one is "supposed" to weigh the same as their teenage self unless your body does that naturally. Nearly everyone continues to fill out until mid-20s.

I second the comments that you may want to rethink this. If you want children, lots more body changes are coming. Many women lose the baby weight + more, but end up with some loose abdominal skin that can look like loose skin, or like "extra fluff." If you need a c-section, you end up with a tiny "belt" of scar tissue that makes any tiny amount of "extra fluff" in the lower belly more prominent. If your fiance can't handle that, he's not the one.

You are barely above the Underweight category! I'm an inch shorter than you and I didn't feel healthy until I finally gained enough to make 135. Sure, I had more soft spots but that's healthy!

Your man doesn't have the ability to stay at a healthy weight himself but thinks that YOU need to lose weight? He is deluded.

Where does he get off counseling you to lose weight when his problem is much greater than yours? Honestly, I'm not sure you should get married either, especially when he says you can never be happy and complain about everything. If he doesn't like you, maybe he should find somebody else. NTA.

What happens if you get pregnant and gain 60lbs ? If any of my daughters 5’8 and 5’9 had a partner that criticized them at 128, he’d be gone faster than a piece of chicken dropped in a dog kennel.

You are thin girl! You don’t want to ever get into disordered eating territory. And—you want a supportive partner.

What I'm hearing is that you have body dysphoria, and your boyfriend is encouraging you to become underweight (you're currently scraping the bottom end of normal weight for your height.)

I didn’t even read this post. 5’8 and a size 4? If you lose any weight you’ll die.

At your height you are technically underweight