Woman accused of ruining coworker's vacation; 'It's because you were GATEKEEPING YOUR CULTURE!' AITA?

NTA

My husband and I just went to Jamaica last April. We rented a car and saw 3/4 of the parishes; ate all over the island by asking locals the best places to go; took in a much history as we could; and literally only slept at the resort. To this day I still cook the half a dozen recipes I brought back with me. I buy all authentic product and have it shipped to me.

Visiting a resort in a foreign country isn't seeing the country.

NTA. Staying at a Sandals resort is not cultural immersion. It's YOUR culture. Rolling your eyes at someone who has knows nothing about it is not "gatekeeping." It's a perfectly reasonable response to a clueless tourist.

Not everyone wants to immerse themselves in the food and culture of a place they visit. Sometimes we just want to get away from the cold for a week. That’s fine. Presumably the country benefits from having visitors or, at least the benefits such as jobs outweigh the issues visitors might cause? That being said, we wouldn’t assume for a second that we have seen the country or understand the lives of the residents. NTA

NTA...Um why she lie? She didn't immerse herself in anything. She just wanted to humble brag and got Uno reversed instead. Additionally, she clearly doesn't understand what gatekeeping actually entails. You can't keep her out of something she never tried to get in to.

NTA. “Glad you enjoyed the resort” and dropping the subject is a *very* reasonable response to someone butting in your conversation with someone else and telling you they thought your family home place was too unsafe to visit. 

The rest was simply giving honest answers when she was pushy. 

NTA. You had a polite conversation with your co-worker and she pushed you further. You weren't gatekeeping anything, you were asking if she enjoyed your culture which she rejected when she visited the country.

That's not gatekeeping, that's opening the gate for someone to enter but they refuse to come in.

NTA. She was upset because she knew you were correct - she didn’t interact with the culture in a deep way.

NTA, easy.

Just setting foot in a country doesn't mean you've visited it. I technically set foot in China during a flight layover. Do I say "Yeah, I've been to China"? Heck no.

"Gatekeeping" is a real thing, but saying that someone who visited a resort doesn't know what a country is like ain't it.

NTA. How can you gatekeep her experience of your culture when she has never experienced your culture?

>why I wasn’t engaging with her because “she’s been to the country”

you did.. what do they think the questions were? engaging about the country.. it's not your fault she had nothing to engage with about the country.

NTA

NTA. Perfectly reasonable to ask a question like - did you like the food. She also hasn’t a clue what gatekeeping means.

NTA. You can't gatekeep something your coworker avoided while visiting your country. It would be different if you saw them at a local restaurant and told them they couldn't eat there. But they didn't even explore because it "wasn't safe" or the food was "unfamiliar." Do they think Jamaica is only dolphins and snorkeling?

NTA, you didn't do anything wrong. You were really polite and kind and B kept pushing you for an answer.

NTA - OP your coworker opened up that box of worms when she said how "immersed" in the culture she felt. Apparently the only immersing she did was swimming with the dolphins! You were honest with what you said to her, and it's her fault for misrepresenting herself and the truth.

NTA. You weren't gatekeeping. She sounds like the sort of person who would claim to have taken a world cruise because she went on the "Small world" ride at Disneyland.

I've only been to Jamaica once, too briefly, and got enough of a tour to know how much I'm missing. Our cabbie took us back into the mountains to show us what HE loves about his country. We barely made it past Anchovy before we had seen the bar where he met his wife, the church where he married her, and visited the fruit stand his best man ran, on the honours system. And we barely scratched the surface. I can't imagine what someone who never left the resort could possibly know about the nation or it's people.

NTA, but I feel like this could have been handled better.

"Why aren't you engaging?"
"Seems like our experiences are very different. I don't have much experience with the resort"

Sounds like she gatekept herself from your culture, and upset at you for pointing it out. NTA

Goes to gated resort.
Cries gatekeeping.

I get that right?

NTA

I wonder why people go to a different country, and don’t experience the culture? Like just go to a resort in California, probably wouldn’t even know the difference.