Bride refuses to give 'pick-me girl' sister a plus-one to her wedding, 'she will only date rich men.' AITA?

INFO: I don't understand why you feel your sister's date has to be in your wedding pictures. I mean, can't she bring a plus one and only she appears in family photos?

NTA.

For the last time, for everyone in the back, you don't have to invite anyone to your wedding just because someone expects it. Just like people are free to take that invitation and respond to it how they see fit.

Gonna go against the grain and say YTA. You come across as very judgy and contemptuous of your sister, and i bet that tone was apparent when you explained to her the rule. You might win the battle but if you value your sister at all you need to find more respectful, empathetic ways of communicating with her.

More info is needed. Is absolutely no one allowed to bring a plus one? If that's the case, then no, you're NTA. But if all of your other guests are allowed to bring a plus one and you are excluding her, then yes, YTA. 

Oh, god YTA.

Just the way you wrote this...

Close family always get a plus one, even if it's a friend so they're comfortable and happy. Unless you have about twenty guests, your sister gets a guest.

Your writing of this is seriously judgemental. It's not cute or fun. Actually, don't invite her at all, the whole thing sounds insufferable

I feel like people tend to forget that plus ones also aren’t free 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s your wedding at the end of the day

I’m over here thinking about the poor guy the sister is gonna rope into a “relationship” for the rest of the year, drag to the wedding like a trophy, then dump at the New Year. 🤣🤣🤣

NTA. There is never any obligation to offer single people a +1 to a wedding. (But I certainly hope this is a blanket policy you applied across the board rather than singling out your sister.)

I will absolutely HATE one-off strangers attending to my most important life event.

So, there's another solution.

Do NOT give plus ones, but invite ALL guests, including those who are "supposed" to be plus ones *by name.*

If you don't know their name, they don't get to attend your wedding, simple as that.

You're not an asshole for not giving your sister a plus one, but *DAMN,* the way you talked to her? You had so many options and you chose to be an asshole every time.

You *knew* that this was going to be something your sister would want to discuss. Why on earth didn't you prepare yourself for this conversation? You should have had a clear, neutral explanation ready to go. "Because this is a small wedding, we only want people there that we have a relationship with. We don't want someone there we don't know."

Of course a discussion (and possibly an argument) would follow. But at least you could have gotten off on the right foot.

Instead, what you *did* say, the very first explanation you gave her, was that *she didn’t have the best track record with men*. Damn, girl, you went right for the throat. You *immediately* made it personal, and you did so in a massively judgmental way. You don't approve of her relationship history, so she doesn't get to bring a date.

You *could* have given her an explanation that wasn't hurtful and judgmental, but for reasons of your own, chose not to. She responded poorly, but you absolutely provoked her.

And as if that wasn't enough, you then made *absolutely* clear that this was 100% about you disapproving of her choices, *and* that there's nothing she can do to change your low opinion of her and her relationships. Yeah, saying "Well I'm going to find a boyfriend right now just to spite you" is her being petulant, but you basically told her you don't think she's capable of having a relationship with a decent guy. Ouch.

And again, *you had other options!!* You could *so easily* have told her, "Well, if you start seriously dating someone, we can revisit this discussion." But that wasn't what you said, at all. And because she reacted badly again, now you're thinking of uninviting her entirely?

I'm sure you love your sister, but it *really* doesn't seem as if you like her very much. At every turn during this conversation you chose the most hurtful thing to say, even though there were blatantly obvious alternatives available to you.

I'm going with YTA, because while your sister also behaved badly, you *really* provoked her.

YTA. New boyfriends don't need to be in official wedding photos. If everyone else gets a plus one, you are discriminating against your sister because you don't like her lifestyle. Being single at a wedding where everyone else is paired up is a crappy way to treat a guest. Unless this is a tiny intimate family wedding, what's one more guest to ensure your sister isn't left making awkward explanations about why she is attending the wedding alone and why her sister is successfully in a relationship and she isn't.

Your wedding. Can be totally about you if you're determined. But if you do love your sister, is this really worth damaging the relationship over?

I think we are assuming the posed family photos taken at weddings.

If you are giving out +1s to other people who are coming so that they can bring a date, your sister should have gotten one as well. But I want to mention just because she brings a date does not mean he has to be in the wedding photos. You don’t have to have anyone in the photos that you don’t want there.

If I were in your shoes I would allow her to bring a plus 1 but tell her in advance that they won’t be in the photos.

If by some chance you are talking about random reception photos that will be taken then I go back to the question: Are other people allowed to bring a +1? If so, there is no way to prevent acquaintances or strangers from being in some photos.

YTA Think about how much you'll actually be impacted by having a "stranger" at your wedding versus how much it'll impact your sister having to go alone. Assuming everyone else has a plus one and she's the only one you're leaving out, she's probably gonna feel really excluded, she won't be able to dance because she won't have a partner, she's gonna be stuck bouncing between other couples all night feeling like she doesn't belong. She'll probably feel embarrassed that she's the only one who's alone, and she won't have a good time. Meanwhile, if you let her bring a plus one and just let her know that you don't want him in the family pictures, you'll probably be impacted by his presence exactly 0%. Unless you seriously just want to burn your relationship with your sister to the ground, let her have a plus one, it'll be easier for everyone than dying on this molehill.

YTA. I mean, if you want to damage your relationship with your sister, do whatever you want lol. But here’s a tip from someone married who knows lots of other married people. Those wedding photos aren’t going to be shown anywhere to anyone except on social media once. After that, no one cares. Also, you can ask the date to not be in the photos. Third, who cares if you don’t know them? How does it really hurt you? You will be so busy doing other things you won’t even notice her date.

NTA. Wedding photographer here. I can absolutely say random strangers do end up in photos in the most weird places. I had one where he was dating the sister of the groom. And the couple first dance due to where they sat him he was in every single photo sticking out as he had a red shirt on. They apparently broke up right after and the bride and groom asked to have me photoshop him out which I said was not part of the package and too time consuming. So you have every right to have no randoms at your wedding. If you’re not in a committed relationship of at least a year. I would make that cut off with all your guests.

Info: Do you even like your sister?

YTA - my controversial hot take is that not giving single people a plus one to weddings is a dick move. Why should they have to sit through the boring ceremony, toasts, first dances, cake cutting, etc. flying solo. They deserve to bring someone they can make eye contact with while the drunk best man offends your parents, and the maid of honor cries during her boring speech about that time someone got dumped and split a pint of rocky road.
So making it too much about myself but really, it’s selfish. Don’t want him in pictures, don’t let him be in pictures. Simple.

Why would you uninvite her? Just say ‘no plus one, no way will you have been together long enough. If you turn up with someone, you’ll both be turned away’.

But tbh the photo reason is weak! Why would anyone’s plus one be in families pics if they’re not yet considered family too and not in the wedding party?! That’s just odd.

ESH. Your rule is fine but you should have left it as ‘we won’t be having people who’ve not been together for 6+ months as plus ones’. As it is you got so personal she now feels her ability to find a stable relationship has been called into question and is taking it as a challenge. Of course she shouldn’t use your wedding to try to ‘prove herself’ and it’s awful of her to disobey your rules fir your day but you’ve made this way more personal than it needed to be and it’s no surprise she wants to prove you wrong!

NTA. Why does some people think that they are entitled to have plus ones when its the couple's prerogative to choose who and how many to invite on their wedding day?

YTA.. your reasoning for your sister not getting a plus 1 is because she doesn’t have a good track record with dating. That’s an AH thing to say. The entire conversation you had with your sister comes across as smug bride. Give your sister the plus 1 and have your photographer take pics of family only. Solves the problem and everyone is happy.. however from your post I did pick up under tones you’re enjoying the fact you’re getting married and your sister is single, which comes back to my reasoning why YTA.