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r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
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Posted by u/PreciousPetall
29 hours ago

'AITA for wanting to cancel my wedding after my fiancé 'accidentally' sold my late dad’s guitar?'

When I was 14, my dad passed away suddenly. The only thing I kept of his was his old Fender guitar, it wasn’t worth much money, but to me, it was priceless. He taught me to play on it, and every time I touched those strings, it felt like he was still here. I told everyone in my life, especially my fiancé, that this guitar was off-limits.

Fast forward to last weekend. We’re getting married in three weeks. My fiancé has been on this weird “minimalism” kick, selling random things on Facebook Marketplace for “extra honeymoon cash.” I came home from work and noticed my guitar stand was empty. I thought maybe he moved it because we were deep cleaning.

Nope. He sold it.

When I confronted him, he said he “forgot” it was sentimental and thought it was just “collecting dust.” He even bragged that he got $150 for it. I lost it , like, ugly crying, shaking, couldn’t breathe. He kept saying, “Babe, I’ll just buy you another one. You can get the same model online.” But it’s not the same.

My dad’s fingerprints were literally worn into the fretboard. You can’t buy that back.

I immediately asked him to message the buyer to get it back. He refused at first because he “didn’t want to look stupid.” I told him I didn’t care if he looked like an idiot, go get my guitar. When he finally reached out, the buyer said they’d already gifted it to their teenage son, who “absolutely loves it” and wouldn’t give it back.

Since then, my fiancé has been sulking, acting like I’m overreacting and ruining the wedding vibe. He told his mom (who already doesn’t like me) and now his whole family is texting me to “stop punishing him for an honest mistake.”

I’m not sure I can marry someone who can be this careless with something I’ve been crystal clear about for years. It’s not about the guitar, it’s about the fact that he didn’t care enough to remember.

AITA for thinking about calling off the wedding?

Comments (3365)

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u/Obi-Juan_Valdez • 5h ago

Time to go to the police and report the guitar as stolen.

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u/MelodyMunchkiin • 1h ago

Honestly, I wouldn’t blame you at all for calling it off. This isn’t just about a guitar, it’s about the lack of respect, care, and understanding he showed toward something you made crystal clear was precious to you. The fact that he’s sulking instead of taking full responsibility says a lot. You deserve a partner who values your feelings and possessions, especially ones tied to such deep memories. NTA

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u/onefeatherplume • 1h ago

He knew it was important to you. He didn’t care. He thought it will be easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.

This man does not respect you. I would end it but it’s up to you. He took something very important to you and is sulking cause you are rightfully angry. Is this the type of behavior you want to put up with the rest of your life?

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u/RedneckDebutante • 3h ago

NTA Call it off NOW! You've just gotten a very fortuitous glimpse of your future with someone who lies, is untrustworthy, doesn't value you or your feelings, and runs to his mommy when you disagree so they can bully and manipulate you.

And then reach out to the buyer yourself and offer to replace the gifted guitar with another one for their son. Because God knows what your fiance told them.

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u/celticmusebooks • 7h ago

Call the person who bought the guitar. TELL them that your boyfriend didn't own the guitar he sold them and he can either return the guitar and your BF will give back the money OR you'll file the police report for the guitar being stolen and the police will be in touch with them to get the guitar back and they'll have to figure out how to get the money back from your ex boyfriend.

Give them a VERY short timeline (like 24 hours) to have the guitar back in your possession. Then call the police and file the report.

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u/hazey_bliss • 5h ago

If he can “forget” that something is extremely sentimental to you, what else would he forget? If you have kids is he going to “forget” that they’re his and accidentally sell them too? This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m so incredibly sorry that you’re going through this

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u/PomegranateReal3620 • 1h ago

So let me get this straight. He:

A. Stole a priceless memento from your father and sold it

B. Wouldn't get it back and may or may not have even tried

C. Has started sulking and blaming you for "ruining the wedding vibe"

D. Called his mommy to complain about it

E. Got his family to harass you

F. Disregarded your feelings and disrespected you and your belongings

And you want to know if *you're the AH* for calling off the wedding? Correction, for *thinking* about calling off the wedding.

The answer to your question is no. But you are AH adjacent for continuing to consider marrying a lying, thieving mama's boy. There has got to be man you can find who is less of a useless d\*\*\*head.

Throw this one back, he isn't ripe.

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u/kmflushing • 1h ago

It's stolen property. Report it stolen to the police and get it back. Your fiancé should not be your fiancé. Someone who'd hurt you like this for $150?
No.

Or contact the seller yourself and tell him he received stolen property. Tell him he can have his money back and return the guitar, or you'll go through the police to get your dead father's stolen guitar returned.

Either way. Get it back. It has your dad's fingerprints on it.

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u/oneofthesenights23 • 8h ago

NTA throw the whole man away. How can he not remember something was that important to you? I’m so sorry he did that to you.

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u/destiny_kane48 • 3h ago

Let's be honest. He didn't forget, he just didn't give a damn. Your relationship is over. Deep down you know you will never forgive him for this. He ran crying to his mommy. You'll end up divorced in max 2 years. May as well not go through all that expense.

Go the nuclear option. Contact the buyer and tell them "My guitar that belonged to my deceased father was stolen and illegally sold to you. We have 2 options you can either give me back my stolen guitar and I will refund your money. Or I will go to the cops and you will have to explain why you are refusing to return stolen merchandise. The choice is yours but either way I am getting my guitar back."

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u/Ordinary-Medium-1052 • 6h ago

Of course you should call it off and break off the relationship. He's a passive controller, a liar and he has no respect for you. He will never have empathy for you or protect you. Consider yourself lucky that he showed you just who he is before you married.

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u/Only-Readit • 2h ago

No you wouldn't be the ahole and here's why:


He didnt forget. He just didn't care to hold onto to that information. This isn't something you can replace it's a family heirloom that was passed down to you. If you went and sold something of his YOU Thought was collecting dust and ended up being a family heirloom how do you think he would react? Guaranteed it would be similar to how you reacted. 


When you truly respect your partner, you ask them. "Hey is this something your keeping? Cause I was thinking of selling it" 


A simple txt, call was all it took. This is the precursor. An honest mistake is forgetting to pick up milk on the way home from work, not selling off a family heirloom. 


If he was truly sorry, he'd buy that kid a brand new guitar that would replace the one you needed back. Did he offer that? My guess would be no. Cause any kid would understand that someone sold a family heirloom that they weren't supposed too, and most sane people in the world would understand it. 


Sometimes you get shown these flags early on, my question to you is, what else do you think he would do since he has done this. Weddings, funerals and births always show people's true colors and if his family already don't like you, what's to say your marriage will be strong and stable because of them not liking you? 


What if you had kids? How do you think that family will treat you and your kids? 


These are things to think about. 

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u/tootired2024 • 7h ago

Your fiancé didn’t accidentally do anything. He did not ask permission to sell something that was yours. Not cool. In addition, I am sure that he could’ve gotten the guitar back i by offering an extra 50 bucks or more if he grossly undervalued it NTA and think hard about this relationship

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u/frogzilla1975 • 5h ago

Why did he sell a sentimentally priceless heirloom and offer to buy you another one just like it??? How does that make any sense? Sounds like it was on purpose.

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u/BeautifulTerm3753 • 2h ago

I would report this op. He has given you a glimpse into your future. He is A thief, a man who doesn’t take accountability, doesn’t show you respect or even remorse. Then gets his whole family to bully you so you can “forgive” his “mistake”. Some things are unforgivable. Do not marry this man.

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u/Efficient_Tell6812 • 4h ago

Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him, Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him, Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him, Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him, Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him…

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u/sfgothgirl • 3h ago

He's sulking? His reaction when you found out and were ugly crying was to get defensive?

NTA. Get the contact information of the people he sold your guitar to. From there you can decide whether you want to contact them directly or go to the police or both. They, at this point, are knowingly holding onto something that was stolen and that in and of itself is a crime.

I feel sick knowing that you're hopefully STBX has done this to you. He clearly has no respect for you. He did not fucking forget. And even if he did, it wasn't his. For me, this would be the end of the relationship; it was over when he sold the guitar. He can't come back from us.

One other thing. As far as his minimalist kick is going, what else of yours did he sell? You might want to check his eBay/Facebook/etc

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u/DatsunTigger • 4h ago

NTA. This won’t be the first nor the last with anything you own, do or say. He’s already roped his family into it so I wonder if a part of this was premeditated.

Call it off and make sure you have a sheriff there when he moves out so more of your stuff doesn’t disappear.

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u/AncientFocus471 • 4h ago

Talk to the buyer, get the kid another Guutar, let them know what it means to you, husband pays for everything.

That should be pretty straight forward. If the kid won't trade your old one for a better one then you can pursue other avenues.

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u/Alarming_Paper_8357 • 5h ago

NTA. Report it as theft, file a police report, and tell the buyer that he's going to be responsible for possession of stolen goods if he doesn't give you the guitar back, and get your guitar back. Your STBX fiance' needs to pay whatever it costs to get that guitar back.

And yes, I'd dump his cheap, sleazy, uncaring ass. "Forgot" it was sentimental, my ass. It was YOURS, he had no right to sell anything that was yours. Today it was a guitar. Tomorrow, it's going to be an important piece of jewelry, or a beloved pet.

Source:   Reddit

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