r/AITAStories

Real stories. Real judgments. Anonymous confessions.

449
A
r/AITAStories 21h ago

'AITA for not wanting to attend my childhood friend's wedding after a last-min invite?'

So, I-26F have this childhood friend, let's call her Arya. We grew up together, ate on the same plates, pursued the same hobbies, goals, everything. But over time, we drifted. Even though we went to the same college, she stayed distant, barely spoke unless our families were involved. I always felt like I was putting in more effort, while she stayed distant, reserved, and honestly... competitive. She never acknowledged major moments in my life, like when I got selected for an international exchange program or moved abroad to study for two years. She never reached out or asked about my well-being. And when I did, she made the emotional distance seem "normal." Fast forward, she's getting married. A month back, I found out about her wedding & her mother had invited my family along with a saree (gift) for my mom. Arya didn't even message or invite directly. When I texted to say congrats (after hearing the news), she simply responded with a dry "Thank You" & nothing else. Then suddenly, 2 days before the wedding, she calls me up casually, inviting me to her pre-wedding events. Now all my childhood friends and aunties think and expect me to attend her wedding, out of "FOMO" or politeness. But I am conflicted, it feels FAKE. Arya never treated me like a friend, and this feels more like a formality than a real invite. So, AITAH for not wanting to go? Or is it okay to opt out for something that doesn't feel genuine?


150
572
A
r/AITAStories 1h ago

Bride refuses to lose weight for the wedding, 'this new body is unlike my past self.' AITA?

TLDR: I am 5’8, 128 lb and a size 4. female. 29. My fiancé has struggled with his weight; 5’9 and anywhere from 140-200lb in the last 5 years. He’ll do keto, go on new diets, skip meals, and have bouts of gym rat weeks where he goes everyday and just eats grilled chicken and rice every night with a protein shake. And then he’ll fall off the wagon, drink 4 cans of surfsides in one sitting (along with a takeout meal that could feed 3) and then the cycle repeats. I am tall, leanish but do have some chub on my stomach and hips. I’m normally around a size 4L in jeans. Lately I showed him a picture of a wedding dress I tried on but didn’t get and mentioned it highlighted my midsection that showed some fluff on my belly and hips. I told him maybe it could work with some shape wear bc otherwise the gown was stunning. He said “well no worries you could lose that in a month” … what if I’m happy with the way I am?? I used to be thinner. About 118 @ max. This new body is unlike my past self but I am on SSRIs, and it’s made my appetite 10x stronger, hence the weight gain. I now have a 29-30” waist (my torso is little so any weight is super obvious) 38” hip and 34 bust. So like not crazy measurements in any way. I kinda like my new little tummy though lol it makes me feel like a woman 🥹I was skinny all my life He wants me to eat healthier, eat less calories, and exercise. I have a desk job so he claims he’s worried about me being too stagnant and becoming unhealthy. Idk. Can’t help but shake the fact he just wants me to be skinny again for his own pleasure. Which makes me SUPER reluctant to give in, bc, hello, feminism. I have been walking to work but lately it’s gotten too hot to walk in my work clothes and so I wanted to drive. He thought it was “bewildering” how I can never be happy and how i complain about everything , blah blah blah “it’s beautiful out!” Sure. I just don’t want to get to work all sweaty lol Anyway. I’m unsure what to do here. He just wants me to be skinny and work out and eat grilled chicken and I just don’t want to. Now I’m not even sure if I should marry him bc I think maybe I’ll never be good enough. What happens when I’m pregnant and gain 30lb? Will he force me to diet???? Idk. Just tired of the whole “I’m looking out for you!!! Just want the best for ya!” Meanwhile I’ve never made a comment about when he was fat and if it bothered me or whatever. Just want him to love me for me and not the shape and size he wants me to be. AITA for not wanting to lose weight or be “more healthy”?


535
2.0k
A
r/AITAStories 5h ago

'AITA for expecting my husband to sleep in our kids' room because of his snoring?'

I (36f) have handled kids through the night for 15 years. I have 2 kids from before my now husband (31m), he had 2, and we have 2 together. We got together when my youngest was 2 and his youngest was 3 (2018). I’ve never had good sleepers. My two oldest are diagnosed ADHD and I know my 4-year-old will be. Since my firstborn, I’ve woken up many times a night to handle kids. In 2020, I became pregnant with my son with my husband and became a SAHM due to covid. I began sleeping separately from him due to different sleep patterns, moving into a room with my older son and newborn. My husband had his own room, bed, gaming computer, collectibles, his “bachelor pad.” Later, our baby and I moved into another room, bed sharing. My husband still had his own room. In 2022, I became pregnant with our daughter. Again, I was in a room with my toddler and baby, him still in his own room. By 2024, we had to split our teen girls into separate rooms, which put my husband, me, and our 2 toddlers in one room. He didn’t want to lose his space, so we built a false wall half for his gaming/collectibles, and all shared a big bed. I still handled the kids since he works. He eventually wanted a bed alone with me, so I convinced him to give up his side and add a bed. Unfortunately, he developed bad snoring. We’ve tried solutions, but he won’t follow through on a sleep study. I often kick him out so I can sleep. We’ve since moved to a bigger home. Our toddlers share a room (4-year-old sleeps decently, 2-year-old still ends up with me). I haven’t had good sleep in 15 years. I’ve asked him to sleep in our daughter’s bed on work nights so I can rest. He won’t. He sometimes sleeps on the couch but usually stays until I kick him out for snoring. I also have to wake at 5:15am to make sure he’s up for work, which keeps me up for at least another hour. I struggle with sleep anyway, often lying awake at 4am from his snoring, seeing no point in falling asleep before alarms start going off. Tonight, I was awoken at 3am after not sleeping until 1am. Still awake at 4:15, knowing 5am alarms are coming. AITA for expecting him to sleep in our daughter’s bed so I don’t suffer nightly? Should I be the one? To me, one person in a twin makes more sense than me and a toddler sharing one. TLDR: AITA for expecting my husband to sleep in our toddler’s bed due to his snoring so I can get decent sleep? I’m a SAHM who shared rooms with kids for years while he had his own. One person in a twin makes more sense than two.


938
272
A
r/AITAStories 23h ago

'AITA for not letting my niece be a bridesmaid?' UPDATED

This is my first time posting so please be kind. Now onto the story… Me (21f) and my fiancé (25m) are getting married in 2 years. We’ve been together for a few years and have a baby together. So when we proposed I immediately said yes and started to plan straight away. I have a vision for my wedding and cannot wait for it to come to life. I’m planning to have a summer wedding, and the numbers matching groomsmen to bridesmaid. I asked my big sis, my 2 SILs, Aunt and best friend to be my bridesmaids as soon as. They all said yes. But here’s the thing, my older sister was not happy about her stepdaughter not being a bridesmaid. I said to her that I wanted my bridal party to be over 18 and my step niece would be 17 by the time the wedding comes round. I said that her stepdaughter daughter can get ready with us in the morning and have hair and makeup done it’s just when it comes to certain photos with bride and bridesmaids, she won’t be in them and when it comes to the ceremony she can go down with my mum. My sister refused this and sent me loads of messages essentially emotionally blackmailing me into making my step niece a bridesmaid. She even put me in a group chat with my step niece and her telling me to tell her why she isn’t a bridesmaid. (I felt so uncomfortable and so bad for my step niece) I put my bridal party in a gc and my sister again asked about her stepdaughter being a bridesmaid and I again… said no. She then threw the biggest tantrum and said that it isn’t fair that I wanted to keep it adults only bridal party but I have my child involved in the wedding, I said well duh he’s my child 🙄 my MOH then put in the GC that she agrees it’ll be nice to keep it adults only cause we can do a proper cheers and maybe to put all the bridal events as adults only too. And my sister then hit the fan. She went on and on for months about this. She said that I shouldn’t have my FSIL as a bridesmaid I should have my step niece (even though I am really close to my FSIL). I then said to my ladies that I would love to have the colour to be the same but choose your own style dresses and hair, as long as they’re happy and comfortable I am happy. I also said that I am more than happy to pay for people if they can’t afford certain things and that I’m happy to contribute towards the bridesmaid stuff. My sister again, piped up and said that it isn’t proper and everyone’s hair and dresses needs to be matching and that it isn’t what she had at her wedding. I said “that’s fine about your wedding but this is my wedding, it’s gonna be difficult to have a dress that all 5 of you agree on as there is different styles that will match everyone” She then said what is her stepdaughter wearing? I said she can wear whatever she wants as long as it’s not a bridesmaid dress in this colour. My sister then left the GC and carried on messaging me privately. I ignored her and went to have a bath and face mask (stress relief) Ever since I was younger I’ve always been a people pleaser and do whatever my sister wanted me to do, but since becoming a parent myself and planning my wedding, my fiancé has told me that I need to stop making everyone happy at our wedding and make choice that will make me happy. I do not know what to do in the situation anymore and need advice as it seems to be going on forever. I’m used to a bit of wedding drama but this is just crazy. So AITA?


73
10.1k
A
r/AITAStories 21h ago

'AITA for leaving when I was asked to babysit forcing my dad's fiancée to cancel her plans?'

I (M17) lived with my mom until a year ago when her disability got to the point where she was placed in a care home that's like a hospice. My dad wasn't ever a big presence in my life and he's still not. I live there but I need to be self sufficient and I pay for my own shit or have help from my maternal grandparents to pay for it. It's all kinds of messed up but he was always that way. His reason for having me here is no child support because he had to pay for 16 years before that. My grandparents even promised they wouldn't ask for child support but he was like no and he was smug about him being my dad and he'd win over them anyway. My dad's engaged to some woman who has a 3 year old with someone else and a 6 month old with my dad. I moved in around the same time her and her kid did and she was pregnant then. I don't know much about her and I don't spend time around her or the kids. Last Saturday I had a day off work and I wasn't planning on doing anything when dad and her said I needed to babysit the kids because they had stuff on. Dad left first and she told me she'd be gone for about 6 hours and she was trying to tell me schedule stuff for the 6 month old and the 3 year old but I just said no way and I left the house. I didn't have anything planned but I was not willing to babysit and I dipped before she could leave. She tried yelling after me but I kept going and I didn't go back to the house until it was late. Dad was back by then and the two of them started yelling at me and saying I had no right to walk out and leave the kids without a sitter. I pointed out their mom was home and they said it wasn't the point but I said it was the point and I did not want to babysit and I did not have to babysit. I told them I won't ever babysit so they better find someone for when they need it because it won't be me and I will leave every single time. She was trying to guilt trip me about canceling her plans and I asked her why it was my problem that she didn't prepare a sitter for her kids before her plans. She even got her sister (who I don't think I met before) come over and tell me I was a shitty person and I took my daddy issues out on her sister and her niblings. I rolled my eyes, packed my shit and I left after that. I'm hoping he doesn't try taking this to custody court and if he does I hope he gets a date after I turn 18 and it's a waste of time. AITA? Asking because I know she didn't do shit to me and she might have appreciated it or something idk.


957
7.7k
A
r/AITAStories 7h ago

'AITA if I stop all of the favors I’ve been doing for my ex since he has refused the one favor I asked?'

This is kind of sweaty, but my (30f) ex husband Greg (38m) and I have two kids - Louisa (9) and Ted (7). We divorced over 5 years ago and coparent very well, the divorce was because I was happy with our two children but he wanted more, and even therapy didn't help. We have had basically no issues, there's no child support (we're 50/50), have never had issues having the kids if the other parent has something come up, and understand that it's just about making sure their lives aren't too disrupted. Greg remarried Tessie (38f) four years ago and they have another child, a boy, and another about to make their appearance in this world in a few weeks. I am marrying my fiance Luke (36m) in February, we've been together for about 3 years and he's known my kids for 2, we moved in together last year. We have a group chat, but aren't overly friendly or anything - we only talk about the kids and keep it pretty lighthearted. Our only 'rules' with the other datings is that we would introduce our partners to the other before they met the kids, which went great with both of them. When Tessie and Greg married, I obviously kept the kids an extra week for their honeymoon, and again for my actual week so they could settle in (they didn't live together before they got married). When they had their first baby, I kept our kiddos for about a month (but brought them over a few times to see their new brother obviously) so they could settle in since it was Tessie's first baby. A few weeks ago at one of Lacie's games, Tessie told me the date her c-section was scheduled for, which is in the middle of their custody week. I told her we were excited for them and of course I could keep them that week and my following week, and we could go back to normal their next custody period. She kind of hemmed and hawed and asked if we could keep them for another custody week to give them a month again to get used to things. I said that was fine, I didn't expect them to need that much time for their second baby, but I c-sections are major surgeries and I said I'd be happy to keep the kid, they don't live far from us so bringing them over to hang out won't be too out of my way and of course I love having my kids with me. Anyhoo, we've finalized our plan for our honeymoon, which is 3 weeks. I know it seems excessive but it's something on both of our bucket lists, but not something the kids would be too interested in, and the honeymoon seems like the best opportunity to do it. Basically what would happen would be that we'd get married on Saturday (my week), the kids would stay with Greg that night and stay for his week, then they would keep them for our week and their next week. So they'd have them for one of my custody weeks plus one extra evening. I don't have family around, my parents died young, grandparents before them, and the aunt and uncle who helped raise me retired to New Mexico (3 hour plan ride + 2 hour drive at min). I have friends who have watched the kids before, but I didn't see a single issue with asking Greg to keep them for a week since it seems like there's a bit of precedent. I texted him the general plan and emailed him a more detailed one with locations, days, times etc so he could know where we were/ how to contact us if there was an issue. I thought all was well and good, but they never responded until a few days later they emailed me what Luke and I jokingly now refer to as The Manifesto. It was long, rambling, repetitive, and still somehow partially written by ChapGPT. The gist of it was: - what kind of mother on a three week vacation without her kids - I'm a terrible person in general for asking a young mother to have her stepkids full-time for three weeks while I go and enjoy myself (they/ she kept calling Tessie a young mother, I think she means mother of young kids and I know it's not the point but it kept annoying me. also it wouldn't be alone with her - Greg would obviously be there) - I am a horrible coparent for asking them to have the kids for three straight weeks while their kids are so young (their newest baby will be 6 months old by then btw) - Apparently it's all well and fine that Luke and I don't want anymore kids (he has had a vasectomy and known he didn't want kids of his own for a while), but we'd better not think that gives us permission to 'dump' Louisa and Ted on them to galavant around (I don't think I've ever galavanted in my entire life!) - We needed to figure our own weeks out ourselves, this was not life or death and it was ridiculous to ask them. I got petty after this, especially them acting as if we are constantly 'dumping' the kiddos on them, so I went through the last four years of texts and made a spreadsheet of how many times either of us has asked the other to keep the kids and the duration on an excel sheet. While we both have made these requests, they have done so for 87 nights (52 times) vs me 12 nights (8 times). Obviously, this makes sense since they have a baby, and I didn't send it to them or anything, but it was good to know I'm not crazy. My friends say I should tell them that, fine, I won't keep them during their custody time after their new baby comes. I'm not going to do that. I love my kids and want to see them as much as I can! But I do a lot extra for them, just some examples: - I (sometimes Luke if he's off work) pick the kids up every single day after school, and on Greg's custody weeks I drop them off at their house since he doesn't get off until 5 so that Tessie doesn't have to take the baby out to pick them up (keep in mind that she does not work anymore) - Our divorce decree says that whoever's week it is must drop the kids off at the other parent's house, but I've been doing all of the back and forth for a while again because they have a kid and because it's not THAT far (5 minute drive, 20 minute walk if it's nice). - I take the kids to all of their appointments, do all of the school parent stuff during the day, etc since I have a super flexible schedule and Greg's isn't, he would need to use PTO for all of this stuff. - We usually split health insurance per the divorce decree, they're on his work's insurance but since I take them to all of their appointments etc I pay all of the copays. I keep a tally just in case I would end up owing him money (and I know what he pays towards the premiums), and in the past it was minimal, but our daughter unfortunately has Type 1 diabetes which has gotten pretty expensive. It wasn't killing me, but Greg mentioned how tight money was once when I was bringing it up and I decided that it's not affecting my life, our daughter needed it, so I've been letting it go. - Their son has been in the process of being diagnosed with autism, and has pretty bad meltdowns (this is all I know from Greg), so they call me pretty frequently to see if I can come and get the kids for a few hours if things are overwhelming. Of course I love my kids and spending time with them, but I've had to cancel plans for this and they have not cared. Greg was in an accident and has been using my old car (I got a new one and hadn't sold the old one yet, it's not worth a ton or anything) for the past 7 months, with no effort to replace it. - Greg travels sometimes for work, and they (greg and the kids) have a cat over there. Normally Louisa would take care of the litter box if Greg was travelling, but since her diagnoses and until we get her labs/ health under some form of control, we BOTH agreed that we don't want her messing with it (they let the cat go outside during the day). Since Tessie has been pregnant she said she shouldn't have to, and Ted is a little young (he tried, failed, now he 'helps' lol), so I've been doing it. Anyways, these are all benefits for them that I'm going to inform them are ending. I won't go back on my word to have the kiddos after she has her c-section, but the absolute gall of them to not do the one thing that I have asked of them (and that I've done for them!) have brought me to this. Most of my friends say I'm not going far enough, but a few have said that it might cause a breakdown in our coparenting relationship, which would affect the kids. That's really the only thing I care about, so now I'm hesitant.


1.5k
2.0k
A
r/AITAStories 1h ago

'AITA for expecting my husband to sleep in our kids' room because of his snoring?'

I (36f) have handled kids through the night for 15 years. I have 2 kids from before my now husband (31m), he had 2, and we have 2 together. We got together when my youngest was 2 and his youngest was 3 (2018). I’ve never had good sleepers. My two oldest are diagnosed ADHD and I know my 4-year-old will be. Since my firstborn, I’ve woken up many times a night to handle kids. In 2020, I became pregnant with my son with my husband and became a SAHM due to covid. I began sleeping separately from him due to different sleep patterns, moving into a room with my older son and newborn. My husband had his own room, bed, gaming computer, collectibles, his “bachelor pad.” Later, our baby and I moved into another room, bed sharing. My husband still had his own room. In 2022, I became pregnant with our daughter. Again, I was in a room with my toddler and baby, him still in his own room. By 2024, we had to split our teen girls into separate rooms, which put my husband, me, and our 2 toddlers in one room. He didn’t want to lose his space, so we built a false wall half for his gaming/collectibles, and all shared a big bed. I still handled the kids since he works. He eventually wanted a bed alone with me, so I convinced him to give up his side and add a bed. Unfortunately, he developed bad snoring. We’ve tried solutions, but he won’t follow through on a sleep study. I often kick him out so I can sleep. We’ve since moved to a bigger home. Our toddlers share a room (4-year-old sleeps decently, 2-year-old still ends up with me). I haven’t had good sleep in 15 years. I’ve asked him to sleep in our daughter’s bed on work nights so I can rest. He won’t. He sometimes sleeps on the couch but usually stays until I kick him out for snoring. I also have to wake at 5:15am to make sure he’s up for work, which keeps me up for at least another hour. I struggle with sleep anyway, often lying awake at 4am from his snoring, seeing no point in falling asleep before alarms start going off. Tonight, I was awoken at 3am after not sleeping until 1am. Still awake at 4:15, knowing 5am alarms are coming. AITA for expecting him to sleep in our daughter’s bed so I don’t suffer nightly? Should I be the one? To me, one person in a twin makes more sense than me and a toddler sharing one. TLDR: AITA for expecting my husband to sleep in our toddler’s bed due to his snoring so I can get decent sleep? I’m a SAHM who shared rooms with kids for years while he had his own. One person in a twin makes more sense than two.


933
1.9k
A
r/AITAStories 14h ago

'AITA for walking out on my dad when he told me he finds it hard to love me because he knows I don't love his wife?'

I (19M) was supposed to be spending the day with my dad a few weeks ago only for him to turn around and tell me he wasn't sure he wanted to. That he finds it hard to love me because he holds the knowledge that I don't love his wife and by not loving his wife I don't love the family they have created the way he wants me to. He said this makes it very hard to keep our connection alive. This was totally out of nowhere. We'd had the plans for over two weeks and I drove three hours just to be told that. I didn't really have anything to say to any of that so I walked out and went back home. He has texted me a few times since then asking why I left, saying he wants to talk. His wife and I texted a bit and she told me she didn't understand what happened. I told her she might want to talk to him and I filled her in on what happened. That took her by surprise and she said she'd talk to him and get his head on straight. She later texted and apologized that he did it supposedly on her behalf and she wanted me to know there are no hard feelings. Dad has told me he wants to talk it out and he wants me to understand that walking out like I did wasn't the right way to handle it either. But that we can't leave it like that. I asked him what the point of talking is when he doesn't know if he wants to spend time with me and finds it so hard to keep the connection going. BG info for anyone who wants it but if you don't need it then AITA? My dad married Lil when I was 10. I didn't want her around at the start and got really upset that dad was married 2 years after my mom died. Lil told me she understood me not wanting a new mom or stepmom and that we could be friends if I'd prefer that. For a while I didn't but then I came around a bit. We developed a not super close friendship but it's there. We're not the most natural fit around each other but we're both pretty open and honest which meant we didn't hurt each other's feelings or anything and we like each other. My dad never got involved really. The only time he said anything was when Lil was pregnant with their first and I was about to have a half sibling. Dad said he noticed I wasn't very excited and I was like yeah I'm not really. He told me he wanted it to be an exciting time for me as well and I told him it just wasn't. But I did later get involved a bit to make him happy and that was basically it. They celebrated both pregnancies and kids, I was never excited but developed a fondness for my half siblings and everything was good. My relationship with dad was super close (or so I thought) until this.


275
2.9k
A
r/AITAStories 3h ago

'WIBTA for not attending my twin sister's wedding two weeks after my firstborn's due date?'

Hi everyone, tldr is in the headline :) I'm pregnant with my firstborn child with due date mid-October. Some back story: I had a real good and deep relation to my twin sister before, we live nearby. She got pregnant before with her first child but lost it in the first trimester, she was devastated for months, especially when I got pregnant later that year. She reduced contact massively then, which I assumed was due to her feelings after her lost child. In family gatherings (our parents live nearby, too) she mainly ignored me and the fact that I am pregnant, our family kept quiet about any pregnancy topics while she was there. They all knew the due date. Back to topic: She got pregnant again, which I think is great! She and her partner want to marry before it's due so she sent out invitations for her wedding now (I think the date is the day they first met). The problem: It's two weeks after the due date of my child. Most likely we could manage that, maybe just come for 1-2 hours. But: She only wants the baby to attend if all our close family get to know it before - she made clear that it would not be welcome otherwise. I understand her position that she wants that day for "herself and her partner". We would keep in the background anyway - it's THEIR day and I don't want to take any attention from it. The current situation would mean to meet three different groups in early postpartum which I absolutely do not want - either it will be super stressful for me or it will be a "5 mins see the baby at the door and leave"-style, which I also do not want to be the way we introduce our child to our family. My partner says he feels not invited to a wedding when his newborn child has to fulfil tasks and meet expectations to be invited, too. His strict opinion would be not to go. But it is my twin sister and I would love to attend her wedding, but I'm already super stressed about that entire topic. My fear of why I could be the AH is that my family and my sister will set met up as the bad person in the situation, that I should have done everything I could to get to that wedding. My family already mentioned that a wedding two weeks later should be perfectly fine for us and why we don't stay the entire day and not just a few hours as we planned. But I don't know if they know about her requirements and how they will react to them. I could imagine them saying that we should prioritize a wedding and "just get done with meeting everyone before", especially as they are already unhappy not to meet directly in hospital of short after. WIBTA for not attending my twin sister's wedding?  


1.1k
151
A
r/AITAStories 20h ago

'AITA for wanting my MIL to move out even though she helped us buy our house?' UPDATED

(Throwaway for obvious reasons, Sorry if this is a long one and if its chaotic, i’m losing my mind) I 29F and my fiance 29M live in a 3 bedroom house for 3 yrs now. We used to rent but when we got pregnant, we decided we were in our best financial state to get a mortgage. My parents and his parents gave us some cash to help with the downpayment of our house and we bought a house. Anyway, my fiance renovated the house and it is now in excellent condition. After a year, my future MIL and FIL decided to move in with us for a year as my FIL would like to travel 6 months a year overseas to visit his mom and deal with some stuff. When they moved, they completely took over my kitchen (changed my plates and put away my appliances to use theirs, used their dining table), used the living room without considering other people (by this i mean changing the show if i paused it to go pee), and overall just using it as if they owned the house, not even considering that we have a 1 yr old living in the house. I’ve talked to them about it but they just brush me off or say yeah but still use their stuff or do whatever they want again. A year(from when they moved in) has passed and they havent moved out yet and my FIL has been travelling back and forth and my MIL is being like a queen where i have to look after her dishes, hang her laundry, clean her bathroom, etc. There were some small habits that are driving me insane, she also tries to subtly be bitchy to me and I’ve been keeping it all in. A few months ago, my sister visited us for an event and has told us that my MIL was saying that they should be able to live here as they “lent” us cash and also to help us with the child ( she’s tried to pay rent but its never consistent as she’s not very good with finances- she will prioritise a trip with her friends instead paying to go to the doctor). This drove me nuts as this was not true, they sporadically helped us with taking care of the child but we also didnt know that the cash was only a loan as they didnt tell us that, so my fiance and I decided that were gonna pay it all off and we finally did!! My fiance has been very supportive of me but also feels bad for his parents as he is an only child. I am pregnant the 2nd time around now and we would like to use the 3rd room for my baby boy (my in laws’ room). The rooms are small so we definitely cannot fit 2 single beds in one room. My first child is a girl and she already sleeps by herself and we decided having another baby sleep in her room will disrupt her sleep pattern especially cause the room is small and could not fit another bed, only a small cot. We’ve tried to talk to my in laws but they are only saying they’ll move soon maybe in 3 months or maybe next year. My fiance has also been asking them a lot but he doesnt get clear answers, so I’m wanting to intervene as they rarely tell me any of their decisions even when I’m physically in front of them. I’ve asked advice from my parents and theyre saying I should try to be more lenient as it might cause some drama if I give them a final date to move out. So I’m wondering, would I be the AH if i give them 3 months to move out? (3 months after my baby is born)


50
3.3k
A
r/AITAStories 14h ago

'AITA for entering my coworker’s office after he told me not to?' 'I told you NO.'

I’ve been working in this office for 3 months, but because of space shortages, I currently share it with a coworker who just started last week. Even though he’s new, he’s technically my supervisor. Today, I was told I could leave early because I’d finished all my work. I stepped out for about 5 minutes to see if anyone else needed help, but nobody did. When I came back, there was a “Please Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. Usually that means there’s a meeting or conversation going on, and they can last close to an hour. The problem was, my bag- with my wallet, water, and food- was still in there. I didn’t want to wait almost an hour to get it, so I asked another coworker for advice. She suggested knocking. I waited another 5 minutes, then knocked. He said, “Not right now.” I knocked again to show I wasn’t there for chit-chat, but because I actually needed something. Still: “Not right now.” So I opened the door just enough to explain that I needed to grab my bag- it was literally one step inside. He immediately snapped, “I told you no,” in a raised voice and basically kicked me back out. I shut the door and left, but I was so shaken I ended up crying in the bathroom. When his meeting was finally over, I went back in to collect my things. I was still upset, and he told me I had no right to be “pissed.” I said I only wanted my bag and that I have the right to access my own belongings. I suggested that if he’s planning a meeting in our shared office, he could at least let me know so I can grab my stuff beforehand. He said he doesn’t see it that way and doesn’t need to tell me anything, and he kept pushing the point. At that stage, I was trying not to cry again, so I told him it’s harder for me because I’m autistic. The second I said that, his tone changed- he softened and said he didn’t know, and now it was “fine.” But it really bothered me that I had to disclose something so personal just to get basic understanding. Now I’m worried this could hurt my reputation. He’s well-liked, and I’m scared it’ll get spun as me causing drama- especially since I’ve been socially excluded before because of my autism. Until now, this was the first workplace where I felt genuinely safe and included, and I’d even considered staying long-term. Now, I’m not so sure. So… AITA for going in after he told me not to? \_\_\_ **TL;DR:** Shared an office with a new supervisor. He had a “Do Not Disturb” sign up during a meeting, but my bag (with essentials) was inside. I knocked twice, explained urgency, and still got told no. Opened door to grab it quickly, got yelled at. Now worried it’ll damage my work relationships. AITA?


505
7.5k
A
r/AITAStories 5h ago

'AITA for wanting to cancel my wedding after my fiancé 'accidentally' sold my late dad’s guitar?'

When I was 14, my dad passed away suddenly. The only thing I kept of his was his old Fender guitar, it wasn’t worth much money, but to me, it was priceless. He taught me to play on it, and every time I touched those strings, it felt like he was still here. I told everyone in my life, especially my fiancé, that this guitar was off-limits. Fast forward to last weekend. We’re getting married in three weeks. My fiancé has been on this weird “minimalism” kick, selling random things on Facebook Marketplace for “extra honeymoon cash.” I came home from work and noticed my guitar stand was empty. I thought maybe he moved it because we were deep cleaning. Nope. He sold it. When I confronted him, he said he “forgot” it was sentimental and thought it was just “collecting dust.” He even bragged that he got $150 for it. I lost it , like, ugly crying, shaking, couldn’t breathe. He kept saying, “Babe, I’ll just buy you another one. You can get the same model online.” But it’s not the same. My dad’s fingerprints were literally worn into the fretboard. You can’t buy that back. I immediately asked him to message the buyer to get it back. He refused at first because he “didn’t want to look stupid.” I told him I didn’t care if he looked like an idiot, go get my guitar. When he finally reached out, the buyer said they’d already gifted it to their teenage son, who “absolutely loves it” and wouldn’t give it back. Since then, my fiancé has been sulking, acting like I’m overreacting and ruining the wedding vibe. He told his mom (who already doesn’t like me) and now his whole family is texting me to “stop punishing him for an honest mistake.” I’m not sure I can marry someone who can be this careless with something I’ve been crystal clear about for years. It’s not about the guitar, it’s about the fact that he didn’t care enough to remember. AITA for thinking about calling off the wedding?


3.4k
3.9k
A
r/AITAStories 2h ago

'AITA for not sharing my inheritance with my cousin?'

Throwaway I (32f) used to have this really cool Uncle "Bill." He and my aunt "Sarah" (55f) started dating when I was 3 and we just had this type of instant bond. I loved this guy and he spoiled me to pieces. It was a constant joke that the only reason he married my aunt was so I'd officially be his niece. He was ecstatic when my aunt Sarah became pregnant because being a dad was something that he always wanted and adored my cousin "Julie" (24f) for the first few years of her life. Then one day while Bill was out of town, I was sleeping over and in the middle of the night I woke up to use the bathroom and heard the backdoor slam (it had a very distinct sound) I was curious and peeked out the window from the room that I was in that was overlooking the backyard. There was a man there talking to my aunt, laughing and hugging before we went away and the way that he left was not circling around to the front where the other cars would be going over the fence and I thought that was weird. I went back to sleep and when I woke up Bill was back and without thinking I mentioned what I saw during breakfast. Sarah tried playing it off but she was weird about it. Unfortunately, that began an avalanche of mess and not only did it come out that Sarah was having an affair and Julie wasn't his, but my mom and (maternal) grandparents knew and said nothing. There was a divorce and while Bill let Sarah have the house he knew she couldn't afford to maintain it, left the country (he had dual citizenship), and never tried to stay in contact with Julie. It was heartbreaking, I missed Bill and I was sad for my cousin so I became a target for her and Sarah's anger. In their mind, if I hadn't of said anything Bill would've stayed. I felt so guilty about it for years that I accepted their acts of wrath in silence but when Julie hacked my email to reject my offer of admissions to my dream college and two scholarships, I just couldn't take it anymore. There was a huge blowout between my mom and Sarah we've all beeb VLC since. Fast forward 2020 and I happen to see Bill on social media and I shoot him a message. Ironically, I was surprised that he responded and he asked about my life. We would talk for a while after that but never once brought up Julie or Sarah. Bill never married and found out he couldn't have bio kids and I knew that was tough for him. Unfortunately, Bill has passed away. I went to the funeral in secret just to pay my respects and then went back home. I expected nothing so I was surprised when Bill's lawyer called and told me that I was left an inheritance. I was surprised and so was Bill's ex girlfriend because she tracked me down on social media and put me on blast where all of my extended family could see and word got back to Sarah and Julie. They think that I'm a witch and my grandparents want me to split it to keep the peace but I kinda don't want to given how they treated me AITA?


404
1.6k
A
r/AITAStories 10h ago

Bride refuses to give 'pick-me girl' sister a plus-one to her wedding, 'she will only date rich men.' AITA?

Hi reddit, I (25F) am a Winter 2024 bride, and am marrying the absolute love of my life. My sister and I have always had a great/interesting relationship. Most sisters would know, one day you start fighting because she wore your clothes, and the next day you’re having Dunkin together, typically sisterly things. Well my sister has always been to put it frankly a pick me girl. She has no friends that are women because and she says “she sees them as competition” and she likes to be friends with boys. She will only date rich men, and refuses to settle for less (a little bit to that later). My sister has not had a relationship last longer than 2 months, and she always has a new guy on her shoulder. My mother and Fiancé were recently talking about this before I sent out my invitations. I had mentioned since our venue was on smaller side, we didn’t want strangers in our wedding, nor did we want them in our wedding photos. My mom had made a comment about how anyone my sister would bring would be a fling, since she currently was not in a relationship. When we went home that night, I brought it up to my Fiancé (we’ll call him Bertram). I told Bertram that I really did not want a complete stranger in my wedding pictures, and certainly not someone my sister would only have been dating a few weeks, maybe a month. Well just this past week Bertram and I sent out our wedding invitations, and they read “We have reserved __ seat(s) in your name.” So for example for my Fiancé’s family his reads, “We have reserved 4 seat(s) in your name.” When my sister received her invitation, hers read “We have reserved 1 seat(s) in your name”. And boy was she upset. She called me and told me that it was not fair that she could not bring a plus one. I mentioned to her that she didn’t have the best track record with men, and that Bertram and I really didn’t want some random person nobody would talk about in our wedding pictures. She said that I was selfish, and that since our Wedding was towards the end of December (the 29th) she had 6 months to find a boyfriend, and that it would be a serious relationship. Now here I might’ve gotten mean, but I told her I would seriously doubt if she found anyone, given her track record for the absolutely worse men alive. (As I mentioned before rich men, who think buying gifts will excuse cheating, and lying). She got upset, hung up, and said she will be attending my wedding with a boyfriend of 4 plus months because she will find one. AITA for not giving her a plus one? And would I be an asshole for considering to uninvite her all together ?


528
9.0k
A
r/AITAStories 16h ago

'AITA for approaching women at the bar while my wife was talking another man?' 'I felt like a third wheel.'

My wife (35f) and I (36m) went to a bar last weekend for some drinks and dancing. When we got inside, I told my wife I needed to use the restroom and gave her some cash to go but us some drinks. After I used the restroom, I find her at the bar with our drinks and she is chatting with another man. I have no issues with this. I approach my wife, grab my drink, and try to join in on the conversation. I felt so awkward standing there as this guy had no idea who I was, and my wife didn’t introduce me. So, I stick out my hand to introduce myself as her husband and the guy just blankly stares at me and give me a limped wrist hand -shake. My wife and the guy continue their conversation and discussing their favorite bars in the neighborhood. I felt like a third wheel there, and it felt like my voice was being ignored. I decided to leave those two to talk and I approached two women also sitting across the bar and make friendly conversation.  The one was wearing a band t-shirt of one of my favorite bands, so we were talking about that.  My wife saw this and began giving me the death stare. She then left the guy at the bar and pulled me away from those two women. It was quite awkward. My wife and I discussed what happened. I explained that I felt like third wheel with her and the guy at the bar. They were ignoring the things I said, and she didn’t even introduce me when I came up to them. I wanted to have some fun conversing with some new people, like she was doing, which I why I started talking to the two women at the bar. I told my wife that her speaking with that guy and me speaking with the women are the same situation, except she did not even try to join the conversation I was in. It’s not like we were discussing anything inappropriate. Literally, just music, specifically that band the women was wearing a t-shirt of. We have discussed this at length, and she claims they are totally different situations because I had to approach those women, where she was already seated and the guy approached her. I am over this situation and ready to move on, but my wife cannot let it go and has been giving me the cold shoulder since that night. So reddit, AITAH in this situation?


2.8k
7.6k
A
r/AITAStories 15h ago

'AITA for keeping a massive secret from my parents?' UPDATED

My parents (F 66 and M 70) and I (F 32) have had a bit of a strained relationship since I was young. My sister was always favoured while I was treated as the maid, which is why I left home as soon as I could. Over the years, our relationship has had its ups and downs, but I would never describe our family dynamics as being particularly normal or healthy. I married my husband (M 36) when I was 23, and my parents just about hit the roof. They have never really taken a shining to him and threatened to disown me if I went through with the marriage. When he and I would visit their home, he is subject to the same expectations as I am, whereas my sister gets to put her feet up and relax. Needless to say, my husband does not hold my parents in particularly high regard. My parents emigrated overseas about ten years ago, and my husband and I have only seen them three times in person since. We do chat over FaceTime/Zoom semi-regularly, but the relationships all function better if we aren't breathing down each other's necks. Recently, my husband and I bought our first house and we are over the moon! We plan on growing our family, and we now have the space (and the garden) to do so, I am beyond thrilled. My parents are kept on a strict information diet and we did not tell them that we had bought - mostly because they are renting a storage unit not far from us, and we did not want the drama of my parents wanting (read: expecting) to store all of their furniture in our new house. We also did not tell them that our new house is much more spacious than our old place. As far as my parents are aware, we just moved because it is closer to my husband's job. Unbenowns to me, my parents have been in the country for about a month and ran into a childhood friend (D F34) of mine yesterday. D told them that I had invited her to coffee today, and it would be so lovely if they came with her and surprised me. D had no way of knowing that I had not told my parents about the spacious new house until they all walked through the front door and my mom lost her mind at me. The main points from my mom's yelling was that our relationship has been good recently so how could I have kept this secret from them; my husband and I were selfish to have all this space with no regard for the fact that they are renting a storage unit; and that my parents are hurt I don't include them in all parts of my life. Unfortunately, my husband arrived home not long after the tirade started and he told them to stop making a scene under his roof. That is when the other shoe dropped that we had bought instead of rented. Ultimately my parents left after telling me that a true daughter would never keep secrets like this, and I am left feeling like everything could have been avoided if we had told them from the beginning. To be frank, though, I honestly never expected them in my house - they do not have the address and they live overseas! Edit to clarify: My husband and I are currently 36 and 32 respectively. I was 23 when we were married, and he was 27. I have also posted an [update](https://www.reddit.com/user/revolutionary_alien/comments/x6578t/update_aita_for_keeping_a_massive_secret_from_my/) on my profile after chatting to D and my husband.


731
42
A
r/AITAStories 12h ago

'AITA for not replacing $400 worth of flowers at a wedding?' 'I went home pissed.'

Okay Reddit so this happened back in 2021 when I was 22m. My good friend from childhood was getting married. I was invited as a guest, and was really excited to go. My friend invited me to his apartment the night before to get hammered and have one last hoorah before he got married the next day. At about 11:00pm the night before the wedding, the future FIL calls my friend and says “hey so I need you to come over tomorrow at 8am or so to help me prepare the yard for the wedding reception.” So then me and the other friend that was at the groom’s apartment end up getting roped into helping with chores the next day. I could have refused but said yes to be nice because it was my first time being a guest at a wedding and I thought it wasn’t abnormal to ask for help. I’ll admit I was slightly annoyed because I was under the impression I’d be able to roll out of bed at 9-10am and would have plenty of time for some hair of the dog and getting ready for the wedding. If I knew I’d be waking up at 7am to do manual labor, I wouldn’t have gotten so drunk. We wake up hungover the next day at 7am and go to do the chores. The FIL has a whole list, including sanding his benches, weed whacking and cutting grass, trimming hedges, and a bunch of other odds and ends, making me realize we were going to be there doing hard sweaty manual labor while hungover all for free for the next 2 hours minimum, the morning of the wedding I’m supposed to be a guest at. The FIL asks me to trim his flowers. I said I didn’t know how to trim flowers. He said “please, it’s not hard, just cut anything that looks dead.” And hands me a pair of trimmers. I proceed to spend the next 30-45 minutes trimming up his flowers, cutting off everything I think looks “dead”. So in my mind, Im supposed to be cutting off everything that isn’t attached to the flowers and their petals. I cut off all the vines and weeds. FIL sees how much I trimmed off in the trash can and investigates the job I did. He immediately starts making outbursts about how I “butchered them” for cutting off the weeds and vines. At this point I feel bad and say I’m sorry, that I just did what he said and cut off everything that didn’t look like it was an alive flower, just as he requested. He condescendingly made comments about how “what adult doesn’t know what a vine is” and how I should know that flower weeds are a “healthy part of the entire plant” Anyways I just chalked it up to him being stressed, apologized again, and we finished helping him with other things. Finally we go home and I get ready for the wedding. As more people arrive, the story about the flowers starts spreading around. The FIL/MIL makes a big production about dragging a bunch of people to the local flower shop and replacing all of the flowers in the backyard, totaling about $400, and makes it a point to tell everyone at the wedding (including the photographer and musicians) about me being the guy who ruined the flowers. The whole day the family just kept talking shit about me to other guests and giving me dirty looks, and I kind of became the running gag of the wedding. I went home pissed because it ruined my experience at the wedding, especially considering I did all this free labor for the guy THE DAY OF THE WEDDING THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO JUST BE A GUEST AT. I told him I wasn’t a florist and was hungover and didn’t know what I was doing, but he insisted. A couple weeks went by and my friend’s wife messaged me through his phone that I owe her family the $400 and she’s going to sue me if I don’t pay up. I laughed and said good luck getting my money and then proceeded to not really talk to my friend for the next 3 years. AITAH for not paying the $400, or was it the FIL fault for not hiring a florist or doing it himself?


37
5.5k
A
r/AITAStories 11h ago

'AITA for calling out my stepdad for being a hypocrite at my sister’s birthday dinner?' + 2 UPDATES

Originally posted by u/throwaway786200 2 months ago. Her mother's account has been deleted so username is unavailable. ​ **ORIGINAL**: [AITA for calling out my stepdad for being a hypocrite at my sister’s birthday dinner? : AmItheAsshole (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wit7t4/aita_for_calling_out_my_stepdad_for_being_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) I (22f) am my mom's(39) oldest child. She met my step dad when she was 19 and he was 27. They were married a year later and went on to have my siblings N(18m), A(17f), and T(15f). It’s not a secret that I don’t like my step dad. My mom was a vulnerable teenager when she met him and he was a grown man. He made her quit school and become a housewife, all while isolating her from her family. I left at 18 because I couldn’t stand seeing him with her. I hate how he talks to her, and how he’s treated her their entire relationship. I visit when he’s working so I don’t have to see him but still get to see my family, so the dislike I have for him is obvious. My sister T(15) had a birthday dinner a few days ago, and she really wanted me and my gf(24) to be there. So despite my dislike for my stepdad, I went bc I want my little sister to be happy. At the dinner, somehow the fact that my gf is 24 was mentioned, and my stepdad made a face before asking her “You don’t think it’s inappropriate to date someone who can hardly legally drink?” I think all the years of quiet resentment just bubbled over because I didn’t even think about it before I asked him if he developed those morals before or after he started dating a vulnerable teen mom when he was nearly 30. He got really red in the face and my mom very quickly changed the subject. The next morning, I got a text from my mom saying that my stepdad doesn’t want me coming over to the house anymore, even when he isn’t there. Apparently he made that announcement to my siblings too and since then, both of my sisters have started giving him the silent treatment. My brother texted saying he agrees with me, and he wishes our mom would leave his dad too, but I shouldn’t have done that at T’s birthday dinner. My girlfriend agrees with my brother, but I talked to T and as far as she’s concerned, nothing I said was inaccurate and she thinks her dad should’ve kept his mouth shut if he didn’t want me calling him out. The whole extended family found out about it though so now my stepdad’s mom is accusing me of lashing out at him because my mother never married my father so they think I’m just “jealous” apparently. The whole thing is an absolute mess and I’m being called an asshole for “ruining” my sister’s birthday dinner. So am I? ​ **Relevant comments**: \- I’m the only thing my mother has ever really argued with him about. She won’t budge for him when it comes to me, so I know that I’ll still be able to see my siblings, but even if she did decide to comply this one time, I pay for a lot of my siblings expenses so I know he’d get over his new rule pretty quickly bc he doesn’t want to pay for their stuff himself. \- \[regarding paying her siblings' expenses\] Mostly their school fees/supplies, but sometimes groceries, clothes, and even the light bill once or twice when they’ve needed it. I make pretty decent money so it’s not like I can’t afford to help. ​ *Judgement*: NTA ​ OP's mother makes a post on r/AmItheAsshole roughly a day later, but the account has since been deleted. ​ **MOTHER'S POST**: [AITA for not “correcting” my daughter? : AmItheAsshole (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wj16k7/comment/ijeqlce/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) My son has told me about redit before but idk how to use it, so I’m sorry if I’m doing this incorrectly. I’m 39, I had my first child when I was 17 (she’s now 22), and I met my now husband about two years later when he was 27 and I was 19. We’ve been together for 20 years now, and I’ve had three more beautiful children. My 22yo loves her siblings, she’s the best sister in the world. She dotes on them, helps them pay for extra expenses when my husband and I don’t have any extra dollars to spare, and sees them as often as possible. She’s an incredible daughter too. Smart, kind, and all around just a sweet girl. The problem is that she has never gotten along with my husband, not even when she was little. I thought at first that she was young and adjusting to change, but throughout her life and my marriage, she hasn’t wavered on her dislike for him. She’s said that she doesn’t like how he treats me/speaks to me. I try my best to keep the peace, but a few days ago I think I fell short in that. My youngest just turned 15, and to celebrate we had dinner at her favorite restaurant. My eldest usually avoids gatherings with my husband, but my 15yo really wanted her there so she acquiesced and came with her girlfriend. At dinner, my husband made a sly comment about the two yr age difference between my daughter and her gf. My daughter responded by mentioning the age diff between him and I. She phrased it in a way that made it clear she views our age difference as wrong, and that she thinks my husband took advantage of my vulnerability. I changed the subject. When we got home after dinner and the kids were in bed, my husband began yelling at me for not defending him against my daughter. It was obvious that our other children didn’t disagree with her statement, and that seemed to make him angrier. He said that because I never corrected my daughter in the past about her dislike for him, it’s my fault that she hates him now. He also feels that this hate has caused our other children to hate him too. I have a feeling our 18yo son heard the argument, because he came into our room at the height of it, pretending he needed something. The next day my husband told the kids and I that my oldest will no longer be allowed in the home, and as a result my other daughters aren’t speaking to him and my son has been very short with him. This hasn’t helped to soothe his anger in the slightest, and I’m not sure what to do. I don’t think it would have been fair for me to force my daughter to like him, and I believe she’s free to feel however she wants. She’s always been respectful and polite to him. But my husband told his family what happened at dinner, and now they all think my eldest is acting out of jealousy and resentment. My MIL thinks I should have tried harder to help my daughter and husband get along when she was young, and that this conflict is my fault now. Did I cause this? ​ **UPDATE POSTED TO OP'S PROFILE**: [Update: AITA for calling my stepdad out for being a hypocrite at my sister’s birthday dinner? : throwaway786200 (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwaway786200/comments/wk80qv/update_aita_for_calling_my_stepdad_out_for_being/) Okay clearly a lot has happened so I’m just going to try to summarize what I can. I really don’t want to go into a lot of details about this mainly bc I feel like a lot of this is a bit too much info to share on the internet. I originally just wanted to know if I f’d up at a birthday party, and now it’s turned into so much more. My brother (18), my middle sister A(17), and I all use reddit. It’s why I made this account. I didn’t want them to find the last post. But my brother did end up seeing it shortly after I made it, and he sent it to my middle sister, who then amped up on dropping comments to our mom about checking Reddit out for herself. A said she was hoping mom would see the post and get a dose of reality from my pov and the comments or even stumble upon a relationship/advice forum and find clarity there. Mom’s not big on social media but she’s wanted to get into it a bit so I guess A thought this was a good time to encourage her? Long story short is that my mom made a post a day-ish after I did, and she found my post bc people pointed out the similarities and someone linked it. Someone else also sent her post to me. My mom and I did sit down and talk like many of you suggested. She is fine and my siblings are okay too. My siblings and I have expressed how we feel about my stepdad/their dad but obviously we can’t do anything for our mom unless she’s willing to do it herself. I will always have space for my family in my home, and I’ve sent money to my mom to help out with the kids before, so it’s not like I’m unable to provide her with some financial assistance to get away if she needed it. I do talk to my mom’s sister, and she knows about the situation too because I’ve pretty much vented to her about it my entire childhood, so I gave my mom her number just in case. Bottom line is that mom is not planning on divorcing/leaving her husband. Though we all wish she would change her mind. I do want to thank all of you who were kind and offered genuine advice. I’m hoping that a few years from now my mom will get away from him and she and I can laugh at the fact that we accidentally cross posted different povs of the birthday dinner that led to her leaving a shitty marriage. Like I said, I don’t want to say too much else for privacy reasons. I originally just expected a few opinions but this got way bigger than that and I am way too uncomfortable with an audience so I probably won’t be back with any other major updates. I’m just going to focus on my siblings and leave the door open for my mom if/when she accepts it. ​ *Please note: this is a repost. I am NOT the original poster.*


353
2.5k
A
r/AITAStories 18h ago

Woman accused of ruining coworker's vacation; 'It's because you were GATEKEEPING YOUR CULTURE!' AITA?

My family (23F) is originally from Jamaica, and I’m very proud of where we come from. My parents emigrated in the 80s, but they made a point of traveling home several times per year and maintaining a Jamaican household to keep my siblings and I connected to our culture. I returned from this year’s vacation this past weekend, and I was telling Coworker A about it during our break because they asked what I was eating (a very popular dish there). Coworker B overheard that I was talking about Jamaica, and started gushing about going there over Christmas and how “immersed” in the culture she felt. I asked her where she stayed and what she did, and she said that she stayed in a Sandals resort and never really left except when she went to swim with dolphins and sail on a catamaran. I asked her whether she went to Kingston (where I was) and she said that she didn’t because it was just “too unsafe.” I then asked her if she enjoyed the food and she said that she didn’t have any of the Jamaican dishes “because she didn’t know what they were.” I didn’t say anything, and just kept a smile plastered on my face, told her that I’m “glad she enjoyed the resort”, and went back to eating my lunch and talking to Coworker A. Coworker B then questioned why I wasn’t engaging with her because “she’s been to the country” and I pointed out that she didn’t interact with locals, eat the food, or leave the Sandals except for tourist experiences so I didn’t feel like we could engage about much. She then got upset with me and accused me of “gatekeeping” my culture and ruining the memory of her vacation. I felt bad because Coworker A said that I didn’t have to ask her all those questions, but when I told my mom about it, her and my family were on my side. AITA?


708
22.7k
A
r/AITAStories 7h ago

'AITA for refusing to split my inheritance with my siblings?' UPDATED

I’ll try to summarize as much as possible. I (f19) have an estranged grandpa more or less. He’s my dad’s father, but my dad hardly had a relationship with him. I have two other siblings (one younger, (13) and one older (26). My grandma divorced my grandpa when my dad was only 10, so he lived with my grandma his whole life in a different state and didn’t see him. When he got older he saw him a little more and my grandpa started coming around a little bit more as well. He’d stay for a week at a time and then go home. He was an old, bitter man to be honest. He never got remarried and lived his whole life in his coastal town with the same friends he’d had his whole life. He wasn’t pleasant to be around and could hold grudges longer than anyone I’ve ever met. But regardless of this, he was filthy rich. He owned a successful business that he sold for $1m dollars. He retired after selling, but his house sits on an island as well as the biggest piece of land on the island. So it sold for well over $3m. I was never close with my grandpa, but I took after his sister who is an RN and he adores her. He always told me that he was proud to see me follow in her footsteps. He died a few months ago. Since then, my family has been torn apart. He left everything to me. He essentially liquidated all of his assets and it ended up being close to 8 million dollars. I was shocked. I didn’t and still don’t know what to do with the money, but I’m going to save it. My dad and stepmom as well as my siblings are hounding me to split the money with them. I just can’t do it. My dad is an alcoholic who never said anything nice about his dad. Despite him being bitter, my grandpa actually bought my dad a $300,000 house. My dad would 100% drink away any money given to him. As far as my siblings, my brother has full financial support from my grandma as he is the favorite and he’s very wasteful and ungrateful. He never talks to me and always is very mean to me when he does. My little sister is the only person I’ve actually considered. She’s very young and that’s really the only thing stopping me. Her mom is money oriented and would take the money from her. So I’m waiting until she turns 18 and i offered to pay for her college. But now my family is telling me I’m unfair and the money doesn’t belong to me and I’m not deserving of it. That I’m too young and I’ll waste it on cars and clothes. I don’t agree and now they’re all threatening to cut me off and never speak to me, or even sue me if I don’t give them all a chunk of the money. I don’t know what to do and I’m buckling under pressure here. I’ve already had 2 police officers out to my house because my dad is claiming I stole the money from him. Everything was through an attorney, I know I did nothing wrong legally.. but morally? Idk. So AITA?


1.8k
9.4k
A
r/AITAStories 3h ago

'WIBTA if I confronted my husband for crying in the bathroom after seeing his ex?' UPDATED

My husband and I met 2 years ago. He proposed six months later and told me he knew I was the one when he met me and that he didn’t want to waste time or lose me. I was (still is) head over heels and agreed. We have been married for 6 months and expecting our first baby. Last weekend we bumped into his ex. They were together for 9 years but she ended the relationship when he didn’t take the relationship to the next level. When we got engaged and married my husband texted her to tell her and to apologize and talked about fate and how some things aren’t meant to be. I remember asking him why, he said that he owed it to her that so she doesn’t hear it from other people and not be prepared. They broke up 3 years ago (edit not 4; it was October-December 2021; bad math). She was pregnant and holding hands with a kid that could be 7 or 8 years old and she was with a man who was obviously her partner and they were very affectionate towards each other. My husband said hi even though we could walk by unnoticed by them but he insisted to talk. When we got home I heard him crying in the bathroom . Now he has been depressed and distant the whole week. I realized he must’ve written to her after we got home and he showed me his phone and yes he has. Again apologized for what he did and told her that some things are not meant to be. Would I be the ah if I confronted him about what’s going on? Why is he doing this Edit: throwaway. I dont want him finding me #Edit for Update: I didn’t expect this tbh. Thank you for your comments. I showed my husband a very well written [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/XgqauhKbEf) that expressed my feelings and doubts better than I ever could. And I have decided to [leave](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/NfruEPqxj0)


1.8k
24.6k
A
r/AITAStories 13h ago

'AITA for suing my ex and her husband for stealing my Lego sets?' UPDATED

My ex and I divorced three years ago. She was cheating, but at this point I don’t care about the relationship anymore. The pending lawsuit has nothing to do with her or him, but rather their actions. My ex and I have a son 13m that we split time with 50/50. He’s a great kid that interests have changed a lot tbh as I imagine more kids/teenagers tend to do through the years. One thing my son was heavily into at some point was legos. He use to play with them all the time, and personally I think they’re a great toy for different reasons. I use to love playing them with him, and to this day I still collect boxes that I leave unopened as a collection. Well when my ex and I divorced she got with someone who loved legos more I guess? From what I know he loves making creations and building the sets in. I don’t care.. seems cool. He does one thing I think is very very weird.. He uses crazy glue so the sets can’t break or pieces can’t be lost. It seems so weird to me. The issue is, I was out of town for all of three days last week for medical reasons, and my son wanted to get his ps4 so he could play it at his moms. This isn’t out of the ordinary at all and he has a key, so he let me know he would be stopping over for it. I told him to have fun when I saw him on the entry camera. My wife’s husband was with him which was a no-no. I told him via speaker to not go in and to wait on the porch. He flinched but walked in any way. I sent my ex a text telling her to call him and tell him he’s one minute away from a cop call. He left my home with a bag in hand which I didn’t think much of because my son had his games too. Well my son texted me later that evening and said he didn’t know it at the time but he’s pretty sure SD took some of my sets. These are all old sets and two are worth big money. When I got home I confirmed the missing sets and called my ex. She had no idea but he admired he took them but it was so son could have the sets to complete his collection... my son doesn’t even like legos anymore and told his mom he wouldn’t steal from me. My wife asked how much it would cost to replace them and unfortunately it’s more than their savings. Actually, it would take their house down payment plus more. I told them if they didn’t pay in two weeks I was suing and pressing charges. The price in the sets makes it a felony. My ex and her husband are saving for a house which would give my son more space when he’s there, but those sets were going help pay for his education someday or a home of his own. I filed the police report and have talked to a lawyer and we’re moving forward with the suit. Everyone is calling me a joke because they are just toys, but I don’t get it. They are worth real money.. I’m not rich guys. I needed those to help with my sons future... but again taking this money does deny my son things at his moms house. AITA here?? Edit* I’ve been asked to add these facts. The sets have been opened which more than half their worth, and one was glued together. The damage was done already. The stolen items are: Kings Castle Milk truck Lego land train Carousel And the glued one was a Star Wars snow speeder. Some of these are one piece of a larger set. So if you lose one of five, you lose the value of one produce plus the value of the set as a whole. Second edit* Ex wife and boyfriend are the same as ex boyfriend.. I’m just a bad writer. Third/final edit for this post* I know I haven’t been here much but I have read many of your comments and taken them to heart. I know my spelling is poor guys, and I apologize for the format. Calling me names in my private message was not called for, and I am not a scalper. I enjoy buying these sets and do not intend to sell all of them, but I want my son to go to college and not worry about debt, so I want to sell the ones that I can to help. I never had the smarts for higher education but my son is not me, and I love him and want him to do better. Around 4:00 PM I called the local state police and met at their facility. I gave them all I had and gave my statement. My son is with me starting tonight so when I picked him up I sent him into GameStop and called his mom. I told her I had filed charges and I asked the cop to call me when everything was done so I could give him the opportunity to turn himself in. I wanted to be better than he treated me. I’ll save her reaction for a real update btw—- can someone please tell me how to update because I don’t really understand the steps in the main notes. I told my son when we got home what I did and why. My son said that I did the right thing because he didn’t want his step dad to think it was ok to do it again, and if he didn’t go to jail he’d rather be her away from him so it isn’t weird.


2.4k
435
A
r/AITAStories 5h ago

'AITA for laughing at a girl singing karaoke?' 'This is her main character moment.'

Written on mobile sorry about any format issues So last weekend my (25F) boyfriend (27M) went out for a friends birthday to a karaoke place. Important to note it was one of the ones where you rent out a private booth, you can order food and drink there and there’s one karaoke machine for everyone to take turns singing, but most the time it’s just everyone singing at once. It was a really good night, there were six of us in total and between us we all got relatively hammered. The song options they had were pretty limited to anything from the 80’s to the early 2010s and no one was taking super seriously. One of the girls who we were with (I’ll call her Emma) has a crush on my boyfriend. They never dated and my boyfriend is (up until this story) clueless of her feelings. He doesn’t have a lot of confidence, is pretty shy and struggles at reading a room so has never really been able to tell at all despite how obvious Emma makes it. Now it’s Emmas turn to sing and like I said, all tipsy at least. She starts singing Taylor Swifts You Belong With Me (for anyone who doesn’t know the title basically implies what the song is about: your girlfriend sucks and I’ve always loved you) At first we all started singing along with her but the more serious and intense it got the less people were laughing and joining in and just staring at me, as if to see what I would do. And I didn’t do anything, I smiled and clapped at the end. Who cares? This is her Rachel Berry, main character moment and it wasn’t really hurting anyone. My boyfriend looked mortified, I’ve never seen him look like he wanted to be swallowed by the ground more than in that moment. I figured this would be nothing more than a “I told you so” moment in the taxi ride home. The awkwardness eases somewhat until it’s Emma’s turn again. She gets up and sings at my boyfriend again. The. Same. Song. We’re all just staring at her, dumbfounded. Meanwhile she’s staring at my boyfriend who’s holding my hand so tightly as though he’s afraid he’s going to float away. It’s so tense and weird and I can’t help it, I laugh. Not a belly laugh but a quick loud “HA” before instantly clapping my hand over my mouth. Emma storms out mid song, one of our friends follows her and we get a text saying they’re not coming back to the party. It’s been almost a week and I got a text last night in the group chat calling me a bully and a mean girl for laughing, not by Emma, but the friend who followed her out. But I don’t know if I am. Tbh I think I deserve a damn medal for sitting through the first song without saying anything. TL;DR: I laughed at a girl who was serinading my boyfriend a second time with the same song.


129
2.5k
A
r/AITAStories 19h ago

'AITA buying my stepdaughter a used bridesmaid dress?' 'I’m spending about a grand on dresses.'

I’m getting married in December of this year. I am bringing 2 daughters into this marriage. They’re 8 & 12. My fiance has a daughter from a previous marriage as well, Kiki (15). All 3 girls are in my wedding party, with Kiki as a bridesmaid. I’m letting all of my bridal party pick out their dresses, with the condition they’re all the same color and within a certain budget. I’m also paying for all of them. Kiki sent me a link to the dress she liked and I thought it was pretty. I planned on ordering it once I had the other members of the wedding party sending me what they wanted. I was scrolling on Facebook one night and one of the buy/sell groups I’m apart of showed the dress that Kiki sent me. It was only used once in a wedding and is in perfect condition. You can’t even tell it was worn before. It also so happened to be in her size. So, I figured it’d be cheaper to buy this as it’s a dress she’ll likely also wear once and never again. The dress new online is $200. The person was selling it for $50 and just wanted it gone. I’ve seen the dress in person. No stains, no smells. Truly a steal. So, I bought it. When I told Kiki, she got mad and said she was the only one not getting a brand new dress. I pointed out I’m still getting her new shoes, accessories (again all of her choice), have alternations done to the dress as needed, she’ll have her hair and makeup done with us. If I found any other member of the bridal party’s dress in a similar condition and cheaper price in a Facebook group or a thrift store, I’d buy it. As it is, I’m spending about a grand on dresses for the 5 members of my bridal party. If I can save a little money, I will. Kiki wants me to buy her the brand new dress. I spoke with my fiance and he agrees with me. We told Kiki if she wants the dress brand new, she can pay the difference. She’s still upset with us. Other members of my husband’s family feels I’m being a cheap ass and should just buy the dress new. AITA?


950
17.0k
A
r/AITAStories 3h ago

'AITA for selling my late wife’s cake recipe to a bakery?' 'I am wondering if I really am a jerk.'

My late wife passed 3 years ago, our two kids were in their late 20s at the time. It's been a hard few years and it is even harder now that I live alone. She had a lovely dark chocolate cherry cake. It was my favorite thing that she would make and I always requested it for Father's Day. I am a shit baker and I have tried to remake it from her notes. The notes are not very clear and it never turns out correct. It is depressing spending so much time and it being wrong. I have asked my two kids to try and make it but they have refused to. I was told that they will not figure out the recipie and to stop asking. I went to a local bakery and asked for them to figure it out. They agree as long as I gave them the permission to sell the cake in the store. It didn't take them long to figure it out and it is almost exactly the same to my wife's. I bought one for Father's Day and my kids were happy about the cake until I told them the bakery did it. They are pissed I would sell their mothers recipie to a bakery. This whole week they have been telling me how I am a jerk for this and I am wondering if I really am a jerk. I just wanted to eat her cake again


1.4k
5.0k
A
r/AITAStories 17h ago

'AITA for helping my BIL's wife with advice on how to agree on baby names?' 'I had no business interfering.'

My husband's brother and his wife are expecting a baby together. This is their first. My husband and I have four kids so we've been there, done that and we're both happy with our kids names. For the sake of the post BILs wife is going to be Emma. So Emma came to me a few weeks ago and asked me how my husband and I figured out names for our kids because she and BIL haven't listed the name name yet for their baby. She said they've made a few lists already but there's never one name overlapping. She said given we seemed to find our names easily and we're still happy, she felt I was a good person to ask. I decided to help her without going into "name your baby this" or "use this to get a baby name" and instead I told her some steps my husband and I took. 1) Write a list of top names, top 10, 20, 50 whatever and choose the names off each other's list that are absolutely no, never going to happen and accept that and don't hold a grudge over it 2) Discuss what your priority is in a name. For us it was a name that fit among peers (not too old, not too weird) but where they would still be the only \[name\] in the class. 3) Try to have fun with it both individually and together 4) Take breaks if you feel yourself getting stressed or frustrated. Emma took it all in and even made some notes on her phone while we talked. She thanked me for the words of wisdom. Then she went to BIL and all seemed fine. Until he found out I had given advice. He told me I had no business interfering and told my husband I should mind my business. My husband stood up for me and said Emma had asked and I didn't interfere, I didn't try to talk them into a name, I just gave some tips on how they could work together better. Emma apologized to me for BIL getting so angry. BIL said I should at least apologize before we put this to bed. He said I did overstep with my advice. My husband said BIL is being unreasonable. AITA?


641
7.7k
A
r/AITAStories 13h ago

'AITA for being uncomfortable with my wife's ex sending her flowers?' UPDATED

Update: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dlhqtu](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dlhqtu) My wife (33F) and I (34M) have been married for 8 years, and we have 2 children aged 4 and 6. My wife has been a SAHM since we had children. Prior to dating me, my wife was in a long term relationship with her ex. Ever since we had our first child, he had been sending her flowers every year on Mother’s Day, and it always made me very uncomfortable, but my wife was always appreciative of those flowers, and she called him and thanked him every time. It frustrated me because I try and make the day as special as possible for her, and she still sought external validation from her ex, who she has no reason to even be in contact with anymore. I expressed my feelings many times to her over the years, but she always said I’m overreacting and that he is just sending flowers on Mother’s Day to appreciate her as mother, and there was nothing more to it. Last month on Mother’s Day, her ex again sent her flowers and she was obviously very happy about it. It frustrated me a lot but I hid my reaction because I didn’t want to ruin her Mother’s Day. However, the next day, I started emotionally distancing from my wife, and a couple of days later, my wife wanted to talk about this because it was the elephant in the room and it was affecting the home atmosphere. We talked about it, and to be honest, I went a bit overboard on my rant, because I was extremely frustrated with everything. I told her that I was tired of being disrespected and unheard for years. I then told her that she was extremely privileged and spoilt being a SAHM. I told her to look at my sister (32F) for example. My sister also had 2 children, but she was a single mom as her deadbeat ex cheated on her. My sister also worked at a big tech company, she was hard working, and she was the type of woman who deserves a Mother’s Day gift and appreciation, and not my wife. I immediately regretted saying all that, and felt extremely guilty after because my wife didn’t say anything, she just seemed shocked. We didn’t speak much after that. That night, she cried. The next couple of weeks were pretty rough, and we barely spoke. After that we slowly started speaking again, and we both agreed on looking for a couples therapist. My wife also admitted she was wrong to not listen to my feelings, and she has communicated to her ex that there will be no contact between them anymore, and she has also blocked her ex. Was I the AH with how I handled everything?


7.1k
7.7k
A
r/AITAStories 6h ago

'AITA for telling my wife the day before our daughter’s graduation that I'll be divorcing her?' UPDATED

My wife and I have been married for 20 years and we have a daughter who’s 18. She graduated high school a few months ago. Around 6 years ago, I found out that my wife was cheating on me and having an affair which lasted for a couple of months. I really wanted to divorce, but my wife was really remorseful, she quit her job, she started going to therapy, she promised all reconciliation steps I asked for. Ultimately I did decide to stay with my wife for her sake and for our family’s sake too. For around 5 years, everything was actually going great, and we had date nights, romantic vacations, and we really loved each other. However, on the 6th year, the whole thing resurfaced back on my mind, and I just couldn’t get my mind off it. I finally made my decision after a particular line from my sister struck a cord with me. She said would you really want use the gift of life and spend it with someone who had betrayed you so badly? She told me this a couple of days before my daughter’s graduation and that’s when I finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore. A day before my daughter’s graduation, I informed my wife of my decision and told her that I would be filing for divorce soon. My wife was shocked, and she cried a lot and told me she would do anything but I told her that my decision was final. My daughter’s graduation in itself was great, and I was really proud of my daughter. And my wife seemed happy too, but my daughter could sense something was wrong and asked me why her mom seemed down and trying to fake a smile. I told her not to worry about it and to just enjoy the day. The next day however, I told my daughter I would be filing for divorce, and my daughter seemed shocked. She said how I could do this to her mom before graduation and that’s why her mom couldn’t enjoy the graduation. I told her it’s none of her business, but we’ll both always love her regardless. My wife and I are now going through divorce proceedings. AITAH?


8.7k
4.6k
A
r/AITAStories 14h ago

'AITA for not letting my daughter have her stepdad walk her down the aisle?' UPDATED

So, my (56M) daughter (25F) is getting married next spring. I’ve been looking forward to this for years, and she and I have always been close. Her mom and I split when she was around 12, and she mostly lived with me after that. I’ve been in her life full time, so I always figured I'd have that classic father daughter moment at her wedding. Her mom remarried about five years ago, and let’s just say I’m not a fan of her new husband. He’s a guy who always needs to be the center of attention, loud and over the top, and just exhausting. He’s pulled stunts even at family gatherings for my side, always making everything about him. I've put up with it to keep things civil, but it’s been a challenge for me all the time. I still invite him for my daughter's sake. Fast forward to now, my daughter is wedding planning and told me that she’d like her stepdad to walk her halfway down the aisle with me. I couldn’t believe it. I told her that, as her actual father, it’s a bit hurtful to have to share this big moment with someone who’s only been in her life for a few years. I’ve been there through everything. every school event, every late night, every hard time. Her stepdad has just recently come into the picture, and it stings that she wants to include him in a moment I always assumed was ours. To make things even harder to swallow, I’m covering all the wedding expenses. I’ve spent a significant amount so she could have her dream wedding. I don’t want to be petty, but part of me feels like it’s only fair to expect that I’d have the honor of walking her down the aisle, just me and her. She got defensive, saying she wants to include him because he’s been supportive, but I explained that, to me, this is about a father daughter tradition and how much I value our relationship. Now she’s upset, and my ex-wife has also joined, saying I’m being “selfish” and making it “all about me.” I’ve now become a full blown topic of discussion, with everyone throwing some pretty harsh words my way. In frustration, I finally told her that if she really wants him to be there, she should ask him if he’d also like to split the bills. That might’ve been a bit much, but I was feeling cornered. So, AITA for not wanting to share the aisle with her stepdad, especially since I’m also paying for the whole thing? **I just want to add a note here as there is some confusion.** *My daughter told she wants him to walk her down the aisle as my ex wife and her husband asked her for this. This was not something that she came up with. Just wanted to provide that clarity as some people are thinking it was my daughter's wishes.* **UPDATE AFTER TALKING WITH MY DAUGHTER AND FAMILY** I have not been able to read all comments but I see some people asking for an update on this situation. There is a lot of comments and I won't be able to reply to every one of them so I am adding my message here for everyone to reaad. I didn’t expect so many people to comment on this situation and I’m really grateful for all the perspectives and messages I’ve received. It made me feel very less alone. I also got some messages about the cost of the wedding. I have to add that this is a destination wedding so some of the bills are due to flight costs, my daughter’s make up artists, and a few gifts I am giving to my daughter.  So after taking in your advice, I sat down with my daughter to have an honest conversation about everything. I explained why walking her down the aisle was so important to me, how much it means as her father, and why it felt unfair to be asked to share this moment with her stepdad. I apologized to her, trying to express that I never intended to make her worry about the bills. I told her I am doing it because I love her and want to give her the day of her dreams. I told her I said it out of frustration and she has nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, the talk didn’t go as I’d hoped. She got pretty upset and told me i was ruining her day and that I didn’t understand the pressure she was under from everyone to keep the peace. She was worried about her mom getting angry, and when I told her I felt hurt by all of this, she accused me of “threatening” her and even called me a narcissist. I’ll be honest, she used terms I don’t fully understand, but it stung.  She mentioned that her mom has been really nice to her for the past few years and that she doesn’t want to lose that relationship. To her, my ex wife is her best friend now, and she didn’t have that growing up. I get it, my ex wife and my daughter do have a lot in common. Things like fashion, accessories, and other interests. My daughter is very much like her in that regard. My ex wife and her husband also came over so they could all discuss it as a family. My sister happened to be there too, and she stayed to support me, which helped me keep my calm. When they arrives, things only got more tense. My daughter told them she no longer wanted me paying for the wedding and asked if they could step in instead. I knew this was a very bad idea and knew it would not end well. I knew she would reject it but it would break my daughter's heart. I thought my ex wife will do it in a smart way so my daughter is not hurt but My ex wife flat-out said she couldn’t pay because she was saving for her son’s college fund (her son from a marriage before her current husband). Her son is 15, so college is still 5-6 years away, but she said that was her priority. I knew this would end this way but I never expected my daughter to get frustrated with me and just ask them directly. I knew she trusted her mom deeply and I did want her to know her mother is not the best support but I didn’t want my daughter finding out this way. I could see it really broke her heart. My daughter really had started to trust her mother.  Her husband then jumped in, saying i was being a “jerk” and making the day about myself. At that point, I finally had enough. I told them that my intent was never to “hold anything over” anyone, especially not my daughter, and i was only hurt because i wanted a moment with her that I’d looked forward to her whole life. I explained that i was still willing to pay for everything, but my daughter was visibly upset after realizing that her mom and stepdad weren’t willing to contribute a cent to the wedding. By the end of it all, my daughter looked heartbroken. I could see she was hurt realizing her mom would rather prioritize her half brother’s college fund, years down the line, over helping with her wedding now. She told me she needed some space to process everything, and I told her I’d give her all the space she needs. As for my ex wife, she wasn’t done. She said I’d “ruined everything” and that i was the reason my daughter no longer respects her mother and stepdad. She blamed me for this entire mess, saying I’d manipulated the situation to create a rift between them and my daughter. I’m glad my daughter knows the truth about her mom and stepdad, but I didn’t want her to find out this way. So, that’s where we’re at. I’m just trying to be there for my daughter in whatever way she needs So, that’s where we’re at. Thank you all again for the support, it’s helped me feel a lot less alone in this. I have to mention, my future son in law had insisted to my daughter that her mom and stepdad should pay for the wedding instead of me. When I talked to him about it afterward, he explained that he wanted my daughter to learn that her mom might not have the best intentions for her. To be fair, he’s not a fan of my ex wife because she’s made snarky remarks about his mother in the past so I know he only did this to get back at my ex wife but at the end this has left my daughter feeling broken. She has a very open heart and trusts people easily, I wanted her to know this was wrong but not in a way where she feels betrayed by her own mother. She carries a lot of pain from the past. Thank you everyone for your kind words. I will end this message here.... Wish you all luck


1.4k
1.1k
A
r/AITAStories 9h ago

'AITA for not letting my daughter be around her mother?' UPDATED

My original post : https://www.reddit.com/r/family/s/1HpvyztmgZ I thought I’d give an update. I decided to talk to my daughter and ask what she thought about meeting Ellie. She said she’d like to meet her, so we arranged to meet at a restaurant. Ellie was cordial and asked my daughter about her favorite things to do, school, and her friends. My daughter even asked Ellie if she has any other kids, and Ellie replied, “Yes, sweetie! You have two half-brothers.” After our meeting, Ellie texted me to say thanks and asked if she could start seeing my daughter on a set schedule. I told her I wanted to take things slowly. Then she said, “Before we set anything up, maybe we should discuss child support for the time she’ll be with me.” I thought she was joking. I replied, “I have full custody. I’m not paying you to visit your own child!” She got angry, saying, “You’re still the same selfish jerk as before! I have two other kids and am raising them alone! Now I finally connect with my daughter, and you’re being a deadbeat.” At first, I thought it was a prank, but it turns out she has serious money problems. It seems she was hoping to get shared custody so I’d start paying her, essentially to babysit her own daughter. I told her if that was her plan, she wouldn’t get a dime from me. She kept insulting me and eventually blocked me. Since then, my daughter has asked several times what happened to Ellie. I just told her that Ellie must be busy and that if she contacts me, I’ll let her know. Ellie is banned from ever contacting my daughter until she an adult and decide for herself


118